04.25.08
Posted in General, Richard Wade at 8:28 pm by Richard Wade
I haven’t contributed an article to Hemant’s blog for a long time because I’ve been kind of busy. Since I think I’m pretty much like most other atheists, I offer this account so people can understand how a non-believer handles the thoughts and feelings that come during a challenging time. I make no apologies nor any boast about my feelings. They are what they are.
Richard Wade
The hospital chaplain walked in while Mom and I were laughing at a re-run of “I Love Lucy.” With the bedside button Mom turned the TV volume down and the chaplain introduced herself. She was a plump, middle-aged woman in a flowered dress and with a pleasant manner. She carried a clip board gripping many papers, seemingly standard issue for all hospital staff. She asked Mom how she was and if she could offer any prayer on her behalf. Now, Mom had dismissed her own mother’s religiosity most of her 88-year lifetime ago, retaining only vague deist notions with no interest in church, bible or prayer. But being the ever kindly and polite person she is, she accepted the chaplain’s offer and so while I surreptitiously watched Lucy’s silenced antics with Ricky the prayer began. The chaplain invoked the Heavenly Father who she said is always there for Mom, always seeing to her needs, her comfort, helping her in every way. Glancing at my haggard, exhausted face, she added as an afterthought something about God’s helping Richard to stay strong and then she signed off with “in the name of Jesus” or something like that. The whole thing lasted about three minutes.
While she prayed my mind wandered and I began to have a rapid series of mixed feelings:
The first one was resentment. Hearing God get praise for all sorts of good things he was doing for Mom I was standing there wondering what am I, chopped liver? I’m the one who has been there, been there, been there for Mom, helping her, comforting her, trying futilely to keep the pain away any way I can, even when the pills and the morphine injections aren’t enough and all I can do is to hold her while she screams and screams as if she’s on fire. I’m the one who has slept in a chair next to her bed for the last month, half of that in this damn hospital, trying to keep up a positive face, resting only when she rests, waking at the slightest moan, taking care of things that the overworked nurses take too long get around to, never putting more than four hours of sleep together at a time, the custodian of the ruin of what was once a remarkable and admirable person, her in-tact mind trapped in an agonized body that now looks like a medical science experiment. She hasn’t had any help from an all-powerful heavenly father, just a nearly powerless earthly son. Spare me the lame crap about how God put me here as his agent, his nursing staff member. If he could do that he could have saved her a lot of suffering by preventing her from getting shingles on top of rheumatoid arthritis in the first place. Even the doctors seem taken aback by her level of suffering. The dead Lucille Ball is doing far more for Mom’s comfort than God is.
As the prayer continued other feelings replaced the resentment. Sadness, forgiveness and pity came with the thought about so many other moms right there in that hospital and all around the world who don’t have a son who can be there, be there, be there for them. They face their pain and the thousand indignities of age and infirmity alone or at the hands of strangers. All they have is their not too helpful “Heavenly Father” and their tattered hope for a merciful end to their hell on Earth.
Other feelings quickly washed over my awareness as the prayer began to close. I felt gratitude to my wife who makes it possible and approves of me spending so much time helping Mom. I felt a sad kind of caring for the chaplain who does this all day, day after day having so little to offer those who need so much, but still trying to help somehow. I felt a strong admiration for Mom, who has transformed so abruptly from strong and independent to frail and helpless yet insists on doing the little things she can still do for herself, who is in unrelenting pain yet was willing to indulge the chaplain’s offer of prayer purely out of good manners and not wanting to hurt her feelings.
And yes, I’ll acknowledge it, I felt sadness for myself. Sad that I’m so tired, so helpless, so frustrated, sad and scared that I’m only thirty years away from Mom’s age if I live that long, and all the mixed feelings that the prospect of going through similar agonies brings up.
In the two months since she left the hospital, Mom has ever so slowly improved, gaining through her daily efforts little bits of relief and strength. Her mind is as razor sharp as ever, still loving to discuss politics and scientific things that she reads about in the paper or in National Geographic. So the latest of my mixed feelings is one of encouragement. Not just for her prospects for a few more years of life worth living but also en-courage-ment for my own prospects. I’ll take the best lessons from her and try to face my life with at least some of the courage that she has shown.
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01.24.08
Posted in General, Richard Wade at 1:47 am by Richard Wade
Many Christians visit this atheist blog. Some come regularly to read and comment, some for a brief time to learn about atheists or to challenge or clarify their own beliefs, a few to preach, and a very few to snipe or condemn. In the last 15 months I can remember Muslims commenting here three times. Forgive me if I’ve missed them but I can’t remember any practicing or observant Jewish people commenting here at all. They are a small minority in English speaking countries and they are not inclined to evangelize but still their complete absence from our discussions here is puzzling to me.
Living in Los Angeles all my life I have had many Jewish friends but only one with a sufficient closeness to discuss such personal things as religious beliefs and he turned out to be an atheist. So other than attending a few weddings, a Bar Mitzvah and a Passover Seder I know very little about their faith, only that there are five basic forms in the U.S: Orthodox, Conservative and Reform being the largest groups, and Reconstructionist and Humanistic being newer, smaller groups.
More to the point, I know nothing about how they feel about atheists and atheism.
So it would be interesting to learn from those of you who have firsthand knowledge about the following questions. I expect that the answers may vary depending on the form of Judaism.
• How do Jews feel about, react, respond, deal with atheists in their families, in their community or at work?
• Do Jews have a different feeling or attitude toward atheism in general than Christians or Muslims have?
• Do you have any ideas why we don’t hear from them on this site?
Richard
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12.26.07
Posted in General, Richard Wade at 4:11 am by Richard Wade
It’s over. The relatives have gone home, happy, well fed and well loved. Just one more set of weird rituals to go, the official end to the Holiday Season: Alcohol Consumption, Get Maudlin About Time Passing and Drunk Driving Night followed by Hangover and Resolution Breaking Day.
If I can just get through those without being turned into highway hamburger I can breathe my annual January 1 sigh of relief for a month and a half until Early Christian Martyrs Memorial Co-opted to Chaucerian Poetic England-Bohemia Treaty Celebration Co-opted to Greeting Card, Chocolate Candy and Erotic Underwear Consumption Day on February 14. Then there’s a whole month before Catholic Irish Feast Co-opted to Neo-Bacchanal Alcohol Consumption Day on March 17, followed soon after by Pagan Vernal Equinox Fertility Rite Co-opted to Catholic/Protestant Resurrection Celebration Co-opted to Chocolate Leporid and Ovum Icons Consumption Day on March 23.
Then there are several months of quietude when no co-opted religious holidays affect me much until Celtic Harvest, Livestock Slaughter and Passing of the Dead Festival Co-opted to Roman Pagan Harvest, Livestock Slaughter and Passing of he Dead Festival Co-opted to Roman Catholic All Saints Vigil/Feast Co-opted to Subconscious Psycho-Sexual Sado-Masochistic Eros-Thanatos Paravestite Fetish Fantasy Catharsis and Candy Consumption Day on October 31, when the madness begins to build and build toward Every Culture On the Northern Hemisphere Winter Solstice Sure Hope we Don’t Freeze Or Starve Before Spring Ritual Co-opted to Christian Birth of Founder Celebration Co-opted to Consume As Much Electricity, Food and Manufactured Goods as Humanly Possible Day on December 25.
Notice how they’ve all been co-opted to some kind of consumption day. Hooray America.
But seriously folks,
The approach of the New Year is a time when many people take stock of themselves and sometimes follow the tradition of making New Year’s resolutions. It’s a good idea in principle I guess, although those resolutions are usually more perishable than egg salad on a hot day. But take stock I will and resolving I shall.
I’m sitting here right now, really late at night wiggling my fingers over a keyboard making words to publish on an atheist website, and it strikes me how utterly absurd that seems. What a goofy activity to be doing. How can I possibly take this seriously? In any activity the times when I am angry or frustrated or being hurtful or doing something that will later be embarrassing to me are all times when I am taking myself too seriously. I cause the most trouble when I take myself too seriously. Saying something like “Oh yeah?! How dare you!” is a big clue.
Think about the people you have encountered here who in your opinion were the biggest fools. Weren’t they the ones who were taking themselves way too seriously? Their pomposity or their indignation or their justification for being unkind are all from that silly, foolish self-importance. Think also that somebody out there may consider you to be the self-important fool.
So I renew my resolution to not do that.
Consider coming along with me on this, both believers and non-believers. Care about your opinions and values, argue well for them, passionately defend what you see is valuable, work diligently for justice, but don’t take yourself too seriously. I’m not saying to be flip or cavalier or to not give a damn. The issues discussed here are usually important and significant. But when your stomach is etching an ulcer, your teeth are grinding each other flat, your brain is practicing for a stroke, your heart is rehearsing an infarction and you’re wishing all that will happen to somebody else then maybe you need to lighten up!
I don’t see enlightenment as “to see the light” so much as “to lighten up.” I think there’s a way to lighten up and to still take a stand, to transform our too-serious foolishness into a healthy kind, a Beatles’ “Fool on the Hill” kind.
May your new year be not too serious.
Richard
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12.11.07
Posted in General, Richard Wade at 1:16 pm by Richard Wade
By now most of you have probably heard about the shootings at a missionary center in Arvada, Colorado and later at the New Life Church in Colorado Springs. The gunman died in a shootout with a security guard inside the New Life Church. He left three wounded and two dead.
Because we must always be human beings before we are atheists, and because we are engaged in continuous dialogue with people of faith, it would be remiss of us to not acknowledge the tragedy and insanity of this incomprehensible act. On this website we meet with Christians in spirited debate and sometimes heated argument, but they, like all human beings deserve our respect, our compassion, and if there ever comes a time when we can somehow give it, they deserve our protection.
My heart aches for the victims and their families as well as for the clearly disturbed shooter and his family. There are large servings of horror, bewilderment and grief for everyone, and all people should both recoil at such madness and embrace those who have been harmed or frightened.
If anyone has any comments to add, please leave blaming or criticism of beliefs that differ from your own out of this thread. This post is for grieving, reflecting and hopefully healing.
Richard
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12.03.07
Posted in General, Richard Wade at 3:18 pm by Richard Wade
Christmas time is a pain in the neck for me. But this year I’m trying to be a nice atheist.
Today I went to the hardware store for a light bulb and some batteries. The place had transformed since I’d been in a few days ago, from hardware store to mondo-bizarro-psychedelic-drug-trip-surreal-fantasy-forest. On my left there was a nine foot tall purple and white inflated penguin with snow cap and scarf, as if a monstrous Chilly Willy had been considered for the climax of “Ghost Busters” before they settled on the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. On the right was an army of plastic snowman families dressed in Dickensian clothes huddled together as if for warmth, singing carols. In front of me was a larger than life statue of Santa Claus wearing shades and straddling a Harley Davidson motorcycle with recorded Christmassy versions of “Born to Be Wild” and “On the Road Again” coming from a speaker in his chest. Beyond that was literally a forest of ready made artificial pine trees decked out with every toy-snowflake-bulb-trumpet-ribbon-angel-elf-snowman-reindeer-tin soldier-candycane-package-harp-star-sleigh-icecicle-teddybear-drum-locomotive-doll-bell-resembling, but still unidentifiable object that could ever come out of the scrambled minds of a thousand psychotic Christmas product designers.
If I was struck sharply on the head, given large doses of PCP, methamphetamine and LSD and suddenly transported into the center of an extraterrestrial civilization all in the same instant the experience would be similar but less disorienting than walking into that former hardware store.
The place was crowded and people were almost frantic in their searching and buying. As I stumbled through the labyrinth of lunacy to where I thought the batteries and light bulbs used to be, a woman nearby was looking at a box of exterior Christmas lights and saying, “Look Honey, these change different colors and flash at different speeds. Let’s get these.” My befuddled mind flashed back to 1962 “light shows” with colored lights pulsing to the rhythm of rock music.
I found my merchandise and prepared to escape with what shreds of sanity were still mine when I saw a display of several shelves of plastic nativity scenes with the Holy Family, animals and manger. On the base of each one was a red button labeled, “Try me!” I pressed the button and a recorded voice started saying “When Jesus was born in Bethlehem…blah blah,” followed by some of the more religious Christmas carols. There were eighteen Nativity Scenes on display, so of course I pushed every button. “When Jesus was born…” “When Jesus was…” “When Jesus…” The cacophony of eighteen of them all going at once in staggered sequence was impressive and it continued for several minutes as I left the store, somehow feeling better.
When I got home my lovely, wonderful, deserving-of-anything-I-can-give-her wife said, “Richard, we’ve got to get the Christmas cards sent out.”
Now I’m trying to be a nice atheist this year so I said, “Ohhhhh, okaaaay,” muttering “humbug” under my breath. So I pulled this big carton out from the garage that has 37 pounds of old leftover Christmas cards. We buy them by the boxful to try to save some money and we end up with leftovers. There are pretty ones and funny ones, but no really religious ones. Some say, “Merry Christmas,” or variants of that, some say, “Happy Holidays,” or variants of that, and a few odds and ends mention Hanukkah. The reason we have so many leftovers is because our family and friends fall into so many categories: devout Christians, not-too-heavy Christians, observant Jews, unobservant Jews, a few Buddhists and of course other nice atheists like me.
So we had to carefully sort out who gets what kind of card. Some of the devout Christians are getting touchy lately about sentiments that don’t mention the word “Christmas.” They’re not happy with “Happy Holidays.” The not-too-heavy Christians are fine with anything except of course the Hanukkah ones. Our observant Jewish friends don’t complain, but we don’t really want to send them one that mentions Christmas. Our unobservant Jewish friends don’t seem to mind either way, but still it would be better that they get a Hanukkah or at least a “Happy Holidays” variant. The Buddhists welcome any good wishes even though they know it’s all an illusion. Finally the nice atheists (like me) don’t care much one way or the other but if we send them either kind of card they might think I’m starting to get religion and I wouldn’t want that. But then we don’t want them to get nothing….
Then there was the problem of whether or not we sent a person one of these cards before. We don’t want to send anybody the same card twice. Most of them are pretty smart and would remember a duplicate even if it was several years ago. Some of these cards are getting really old.
All this took a lot of time and I was tempted to chuck the whole carton into the fireplace and print up my own cards that say:
“Wishing that you don’t get seriously injured while fighting in the tiger shark feeding frenzy at the mall trying to find thoughtful and valuable gifts for everybody else who’s out getting stupid cheap stuff for you that you won’t like but will have to pretend that you do and trying to avoid going broke in the whole nonsensical process, in observance of whatever the heck holiday you celebrate, if any.”
But I didn’t do that, because I’m being a nice atheist.
Later my lovely, wonderful, deserving-of etc. wife said, “Richard, could you put up the Christmas lights and set up the tree while I’m at the market? I know it’s a pain in the neck for you, but makes me happy.”
“Ohhhhh, okaaaay.” I said, muttering “humbug” under my breath again. She’s just barely a deist but she has fond childhood memories attached to all this paraphernalia so hey, if it makes her happy, what else is important? So I dragged out several boxes of Christmas geegaws for inside and out without complaining the way I usually do. And this year, just to be a nice atheist, I removed the sign from the front door wreath that says,
“Co-opted pagan symbol displayed for traditional purposes only; no religious affiliation implied.”
This year I’m going to be a nice atheist, dammit. If the neighbors mistakenly assume I’m a Christian, so what? Screw ‘em. (muttering “humbug” under my breath)
Risking life and limb teetering on a ladder I put up the exterior lights around the eves of the house, a string of colored ones and a band of white ones supposedly resembling icicles. That’s weird too. It hasn’t snowed here since 1951. Only here in Lotus Land would people use lights to imitate icicles. My neighbors compete by the thousands of kilowatts to express who is the most frikking joyful, making the neighborhood look like an electrified Currier and Ives lithograph on steroids. I’ve heard icicles can kill people back east. I hate snow. It almost died in it. Humbug.
Oh for the days of my youth when front yard Christmas decorations were sensible like the tumbleweeds painted white and stacked up and decorated to look like snowmen. Decorations with deep meaning like the two Santa feet sticking out of the chimney or the all-aluminum Christmas tree, dazzling in the color-changing floodlights on the dichondra, or the glowing plastic camels carrying guys looking like bin Laden marching toward a glowing plastic manger, overseen by a much larger glowing plastic Rudolph. Those decorations were tasteful and meaningful. What has become of it all? (sigh) Humbug.
Season’s Frikking Greetings.
Richard
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11.29.07
Posted in General, Richard Wade at 3:02 am by Richard Wade
Recently a remark by a Christian visiting here reminded me of something peculiar I have encountered from time to time that I had never known about before I started reading and discussing things on line, the notion of the “not real Christian.”
I have heard several people who identify themselves as Christians say that because other people who identify themselves as Christians do not believe in such and such, or don’t agree with so and so, or haven’t done whatever, that they are not really Christians, and some even contend that these counterfeit or phony or somehow not qualified “Christians” (with their scare quotes) will burn in hell. Sometimes the differences they cite sound at least theologically significant, sometimes it’s too subtle or esoteric for me to fathom, and sometimes it sounds like they just don’t go to the same particular church.
To me as an outsider this is bizarre and ridiculous. On the news I hear Muslims dismissing other Muslims as “not good Muslims,” or “not true Muslims” for disparities only they can comprehend. How can theists of any flavor ever hope to attract outsiders when so many differences are cited as disqualifying all the others but their specific variety of religion, differences that seem indistinguishable to anyone not already inside their camp? From the eyes of the uninitiated, their micro-controversies discredit them all as a whole.
It seems as if religion is a thing that spreads out forever like heat, continuously splitting into ever smaller sub groups with ever subtler differences, yet those differences often (not always) remain significant enough to the sub group members to cause disdain and even enmity toward those of other sub groups.
Now the point of this post:
Can this happen to atheists? Has it already? We have several terms that non-god-believing folks use to identify themselves to emphasize other aspects they feel are important. Is there a looking down the nose from those using one term toward those using another? Do humanists look askance at freethinkers? Do skeptics roll their eyes about brights?
Has anyone ever been accused of not being a true atheist by another person calling himself or herself an atheist?
Richard
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11.24.07
Posted in General, Richard Wade at 8:00 pm by Richard Wade
We have had many postings and long discussions about religions, religious beliefs and the political or social effects of religions or religious people. Many commenters have expressed why they disagree with or are skeptical about all those things.
But atheists, skeptics, humanists, freethinkers, whatever we non-god-believers call ourselves have more to our lives than constant controversy with religion. We have opinions, points of view and even beliefs about many other things, and people in general can be inconsistent in the way they choose to hold or reject beliefs. Being skeptical about God doesn’t necessarily mean being skeptical about everything.
There are many things that are popularly believed about which there are controversies over the evidence or lack thereof for either their existence or for their benefit to people.
To list just a few:
UFO’s; Big Foot in all his many incarnations around the world; Astrology; ESP in its many forms; spirits, ghosts or the lingering influence of bygone people; magical woodland creatures; lucky numbers, objects or rituals; reincarnation; sunken civilizations; lake monsters; prehistoric animals in jungles; Feng Shui; influences of crystals or metals worn on the body; faked moon landings; vitamin supplements; herbal supplements; traditional medicine; animals pre-sensing earthquakes; the full moon increasing accidents, crime or general lunacy; special powers used in erecting ancient structures; and hundreds of urban legends.
Taking the premise that it’s okay to be inconsistent, that it’s part of what makes human beings interesting and creative, and making the mutual promise that we won’t make too much fun of each other, what of these or any other controversial things do you believe, lend credence to, consider the strong possibility of, or think “Well, it could be, I guess.”?
C’mon. Don’t be embarrassed. Most of us have inconsistencies. Homogeneity is boring.
Richard
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11.21.07
Posted in General, Humor, Richard Wade at 11:26 pm by Richard Wade
Some things just beg to be made fun of. Some things need to be made fun of.
So when I looked at the Creation Museum Pics that Hemant posted and I saw this one,
an exhibit about two kids visiting the museum, (what the heck is that for?) the talk bubbles that are actually there over the two figures gave me an evil idea. Mwohoohoohahaha!
So I put talk and thought bubbles over some of the characters in these other exhibits so you could enjoy filling in the blanks with whatever you think they ought to be saying and thinking. The saying /thinking part is interchangeable and you can ignore or add bubbles as you see fit. Just name the picture and describe who’s saying or thinking what. This isn’t a contest. Let’s just have some good, wholesome fun. Mwohoohoohahaha!
For a closer look at all the original pictures you can click here.
Thanks again to Karolis for the link.
I hope you all have a happy Thanksgiving.
Richard
#1 Here’s Adam, Eve and a dinosaur relaxing in the Garden.
#2 Two dinos, possibly Deinonychus (plural is Deinonychi) trot past a kid feeding carrots to a squirrel.
#3 Adam, Eve and the Serpent.
#4 Looks like Cain talking with God after clobbering Abel.
#5 Three dudes building the Ark.
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11.17.07
Posted in Contests, General, Richard Wade at 1:55 pm by Richard Wade
From the sublime to the ridiculous, let’s go from haiku to poetry’s highest form, limericks! Create an atheist limerick.
Jared must be psychic or at least our logic flows in the same perverse way because on Contest # 9 he proposed a limerick contest the night after I started working on this. Go Jared!
As you probably know limericks follow a very set pattern, usually iambic with five lines in a rhyming pattern of a,a,b,b,a. I’ll give you an example, (not very good, I admit) to start you off:
An atheist’s outlook is sunny
‘Cause so much of life can be funny.
Without a hereafter
We cherish the laughter
And savor each moment like honey.
Uh-oh the Limerick Muse has been awakened:
A preacher who said, “Gay is sin”
Was caught being naughty with men
He said “I’m straight now,
‘Cause God showed me how.”
Yeah, straight as he ever has been.
Watch out, I’m out of control!
Ted Haggard created a shock
So his churchgoers said, “Take a walk.”
But he said that by livin’
In Christ he’s forgiven
For the sin of misusing his………flock.
The ten funniest or most creative submissions will receive a Friendly Atheist wrist band:
This is the genuine article. Beware of cheap knock-offs.
Judging will be done by the same anonymous mystery people who have judged the other contests. I’m certainly not gonna take responsibility. 
Have fun,
Richard
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11.09.07
Posted in General, Richard Wade at 1:50 pm by Richard Wade
Just when you thought baby eating was the worst thing you could be accused of, Dinesh D’Souza has attributed the Islamic terror attacks around the world and the war in Iraq in part to atheists.The other day he gave a speech complete with protestors outside at Northwestern University in Evanston, IL, saying that the conflicts are a result of a “culture war” in America between religion and atheism and the world’s perception of America as an atheistic, immoral society as a result of the popular culture that America exports.
“The radical Muslims exploit the idea of an immoral America,” D’Souza said. “This is their main recruiting slogan in the Muslim world. Muslim extremists are attacking America because not everyone in the U.S. follows a moral code given by an “external being,” D’Souza said. This new moral code leads to acts such as adultery and gay marriage, he said.
I suppose this is the same “external being” who told those pious moralists to fly the planes into the skyscrapers for morality’s sake. Maybe the whole World Trade Center was filled with nothing but adulterers and gays. But don’t worry, according to D’Souza “our” war in Iraq is bound to succeed, despite the abysmal results so far:
The outcome of the Iraq war, according to D’Souza, is a matter of simple math because the U.S. has the support of the Shiite majority and the Kurds, which together make up 80 percent of Iraq’s population.”Who is going to win the war in Iraq?” D’Souza said. “You don’t have to be a West Point graduate to see there is actually no way to lose.”
Check out the article yourselves to see if you agree with my take on it. It’s not long.
–Richard
[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]
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