06.18.08
Posted in Contests, General at 4:00 pm by Hemant Mehta
Last week, I ran this contest:
Ray Comfort says he has retired the Banana Argument.
If that’s the case, what will be the atheists’ new worst nightmare?
Here are the Top 3 responses (with submitters)!
3|
Sugar Canes.
Think about it. These plants are, like atheists say, products of evolution. But they are so delicious. Why would the plant be here today if it were so delicious? All the humans would just eat them up! Therefore, sugar must be a gift from God. A very precious gift that cannot be explained by evolution.
Praise Him and Repent.
(awh)
2|
It’s clearly the iPhone.
Smooth, shiny, perfectly contoured to fit the human hand. It’s so complicated, it MUST have had an intelligent designer.
Plus, just when those dumb atheists think they’ve got it right, it changes on them and is brand new! How’s that for intelligent!
(Trevor)
1|
The atheists’ worst nightmare is Atheism.
As we all know, atheism drives you to eating babies. But all babies are atheists. So atheism makes you kill atheists. That means atheism is self-destroying, proving that Jesus is our Lord and Savior.
(Wes)
…
Congratulations to the winners!
Normally, the top three receive specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!
But this time around, reader Josh donated hardcover copies of Christopher Hitchens‘ God Is Not Great and Richard Dawkins‘ The God Delusion! The winner will get first pick!
…
If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest:
You went shopping at an atheist store.
What’s it called?
Where is it located?
What did you buy?
How much did it cost?
I want to know what your receipt looks like!
Send your final receipt to 
(Receipt maker courtesy of The Generator Blog)
Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning!
Good luck!
[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]
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06.13.08
Posted in Contests, General at 6:00 pm by Hemant Mehta
Alright, so you all didn’t like the art contest very much. There were too few entries to rank.
But we’ll try another question and get this back on track!
Ray Comfort says he has retired the Banana Argument.
If that’s the case, what will be the atheists’ new worst nightmare?
This time, you’re not just playing for wristbands!
Reader Josh has donated hardcover copies of Christopher Hitchens‘ God Is Not Great and Richard Dawkins‘ The God Delusion.
The winner gets first pick!
[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]
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05.28.08
Posted in Contests, General at 9:14 pm by Hemant Mehta
Last week, I ran this contest:
Imagine you’re running for president… of American Atheists.
What are your campaign promises?
Here are the Top 3 not-so-serious responses (with submitters)!
3|
That’s easy: All-you-can-eat baby buffet, Satanic Ritual Sundays, Communist ping-pong, Bible-burning class, a better Darwin shrine, and a bubble-gum machine in the lobby.
(Milena)
2|
More Atheist holidays so you can get a day off work.
(Isaah)
1|
The Jews have Israel, the Catholics have the Vatican, the Mormons have Utah – it’s time we reclaimed ownership of our ancestral unHoly Land – Las Vegas!
(Ubi Dubium)
…
Congratulations to the winners! The top three will be receiving specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!
…
If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest:
This one’s an art contest.
Just make any piece of visual art (digital, traditional painting, craft, sculpture, etc.) that represents atheism in some form.
The more symbolism you decide to use, the better!
You can send your pics to:
(Thanks to Kirsty for the idea!)
Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.
Good luck!
[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]
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05.15.08
Posted in Contests, General at 5:00 pm by Hemant Mehta
Last week, I ran this contest:
What programming would appear on an atheist cable TV network?
Here are the Top 10 responses (with submitters)!
10|
Porn.
If we’re going to be immoral, we’ve got to do it right, dammit!
(Asylum Seeker)
9|
Survivor: Galapagos ;-P
(the Shaggy)
8|
One Life to Live obviously.
(Scott)
7|
Touched by His Noodly Appendage
FSM himself comes to earth disguised as a normal person to save people from non-pasta related meal plans.
(Cade)
6|
Sunday Morning Football!
(Ubi Dubium)
5|
As the World Turns. And Rotates. And Precesses. And Switches Magnetic Polarity.
(Ubi Dubium)
4|
Three’s a Crowd
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit share an apartment while trying to hide their real relationship from ther goofy landlord.
(Matt)
3|
AtheistTV would obviously an On Demand station offering a little bit of everything; atheist viewers would most certainly want the freedom to choose without having some supposedly infallible authority mandating the programming they must watch on some rigid schedule.
(Dan)
2|
Pascal’s Deal or No Deal
(Ubi Dubium)
[Hemant's note: Ubi Dubium gets the first (coincidental) contest trifecta!]
1|
Ripley’s Or Not
(Jeff Flowers)
…
Congratulations to the winners! The top three will be receiving specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!
…
If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest:
Imagine you’re running for president… of American Atheists.
What are your campaign promises?
Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.
Good luck!
[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]
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05.07.08
Posted in Contests, General at 3:00 pm by Hemant Mehta
Last week, I ran this contest:
What will be the title of Ben Stein’s next film?
Here are the Top 3 responses (with submitters)!
3|
Give Ben Stein Money
After losing losing his shirt with “Expelled,” this documentary follows Ben Stein on skid row as does anything to regain his fortune.
(William)
2|
Career… Career… My Career… anyone seen My Career?
(Tom in Iowa)
1|
All Washed Up: The Soap Conspiracy
Ben Stein takes on the Germ Theory of Disease and discovers how doctors washing their hands led to the slaughter of the Armenians during World War I. Of course ‘all washed up’ also describes Stein’s career.
(Darwin’s Dagger)
…
Congratulations to the winners! The top three will be receiving specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!
…
If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest (coincidentally also via Darwin’s Dagger):
What programming would appear on an atheist cable TV network?
Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.
Good luck!
[tags]atheist, atheism, contest[/tags]
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04.30.08
Posted in Contests, General at 3:00 pm by Hemant Mehta
Last week, I ran this contest:
Create a poster/saying about atheism or faith that becomes humorous with a *slight* change in spelling.
Here are the Top 10 responses (with submitters)!
10|
(Kira C.)
9|
(hoverFrog)
8|
(Ashes)
7|
(hoverFrog)
6|
(miller)
5|
(Ubi Dubium)
4|
(Richard Wade)
3|
(Laurie Soule)
2|
(Ubi Dubium)
1|
(Citizen Steve)
Congratulations to the winners! The top three will be receiving specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!
…
If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest (courtesy of Citizen Steve):
What will be the title of Ben Stein’s next film?
Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.
Good luck!
[tags]atheist, atheism, contest[/tags]
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04.21.08
Posted in Contests, General at 6:00 pm by Hemant Mehta
Last week, I ran this contest:
Atheism similes!
Fill in the blanks:
Atheists are like _______ because _______________.
or
Atheism is like _______ because _______________.
Here are the Top 10 responses (with submitters)!
10|
Atheists are like butter. Once we’re warmed up we spread easily
(*The submitter’s follow-up*:)
Wife: You know there are two ways to take the “spread easily” right?
Me: What? What do you…? Oooohhh…
(Skeptigator)
9|
Atheists are like smart primates because we are, in fact, smart primates.
(Keith)
8|
Atheism is like money because the only people who believe it can’t bring you happiness are the ones who don’t have it.
(Renacier)
7|
Atheism is like shopping at Whole Foods. All natural, more expensive to maintain the habit (at least in the States), and you’re mostly surrounded by white people.
(P.S.)
6|
Atheism is like bondage — both are sexy, stimulating and require an open mind.
(Kathryn)
5|
Atheists are like sheep, because… well, because that’s what they’re like, and you’d best not question it, because that’s what our forefathers’ forefathers taught us and passed down through the ages, and back then, people knew the TRUTH and they didn’t color it up with modern lies and sinful ways, and we need to GO BACK to those days and reconnect with the early times when we were still living in harmony in the garden and not leaning on our own understanding of things we can never understand and have only progressively misunderstood even worse which is why the world has been falling apart for the last 2000 years out of the 6000 it has existed, all of which PROVES BEYOND ANY DOUBT that atheists are like sheep.
(ashes)
4|
Atheism is like an integer because it is rational.
(Math reference… bonus points?)
(Hemant says: Hell yes!)
(J Myers)
3|
Atheists are like cockroaches because for every one you see there are a thousand you don’t.
And they’ve been around forever and will never go away.
And most people react disgustedly when they see one.
(Theo Doersing)
2|
An Atheist is like a condom: Doesn’t break under pressure, scientifically reliable, keeps away any unwanted side-effects, it beats praying and more than one usually scares the crap out of the church.
(Ray Harrington)
1|
Atheists are like OB/GYNs. It’s our job to peer into the darkness and help bring life out of it.
(Polly)
Congratulations to the winners! The top three will be receiving specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!
…
If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest:
Spazeboy recently sent me this picture:
Cute, amusing, etc.
Forget the writing, though. The first thing I noticed was the misspelling of the word “atheists.” Just a simple mistake, I figure.
Surely we could do amazingly hilarious things if we deliberately tried to misspell words…
Here’s the challenge:
Create a poster/saying about atheism or faith that becomes humorous with a *slight* change in spelling.
If you create a poster, just send it to:
Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.
Good luck!
[tags]atheist, atheism, contest[/tags]
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04.11.08
Posted in Contests, General at 12:00 pm by Hemant Mehta
Last week, I ran this contest:
If religions were flavors of ice cream, what flavors would they be and why…?
Here are the Top 5 responses (with submitters)!
5|
Jehovah’s Almond Fudge because its flavor is just heavenly and more than a little nutty.
(Laurie Soule)
4|
I just envision someone with a picket sign reading, “It’s Ben & MARY, not Ben & Jerry!”…
(Ray Harrington)
3|
Judaism ice cream is whatever flavor your mother slaved over for days to make for you, and aggravated her arthritis, so would it hurt you to call her once in a while?
(Ubi Dubium)
2|
I’ll go with chocolate, because it’s copied in so many other flavours, and no matter how much, people keep eating it right up.
(Aditya)
1|
Neapolitan, because they only choose the parts they like and leave the parts they don’t.
(Derek)
Congratulations to the winners! The top three will be receiving specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!
…
If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest (sticking with the previous theme):
Atheism similes!
Fill in the blanks:
Atheists are like _______ because _______________.
or
Atheism is like _______ because _______________.
Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.
Good luck!
[tags]atheist, atheism, contest[/tags]
Permalink ~
04.02.08
Posted in Contests, General at 7:00 pm by Hemant Mehta
Last week, I ran this contest:
If religions were fonts, what fonts would they be and why…?
Here are the Top 10 responses (with submitters)!
10|
The font for Scientology would be Times Extra New Roman, which they promise is newer and better than all the old fonts, costs $10,000, but ends up looking exactly the same.
(Please don’t sue me.)
(HM)
9|
Times Old Roman – because there’s nothing like some good ol’ fashioned human sacrifice, child boinking and lead poisoning induced brain tumors.
(Boo)
8|
Times New Roman Catholic – Important letters wear a mitre in the form of a 15pt caret.
(Paineroo)
7|
Courier, a font based on an obsolete technology (typewriters).
(Darwin’s Dagger)
6|
doesn’t matter AS LONG AS IT’S WRITTEN IN CAPS
(ash)
5|
Wingdings – It says a lot, but none of it makes any sense.
(Godless Geek)
4|
Times New Roman 12 pt, because it’s what they were given by default and they’ve never thought about other options.
(Epistaxis)
3|
Arial Narrow-Minded
(John Pritzlaff)
2|
I’m going with MT (monotype) Symbol.
Say it out loud: “M.T. Symbol.”
(Perfect Fool)
1|
Catholicism would be You’re Going to Hell-vetica
(Wasyl)
Congratulations to the winners! The top three will be receiving specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!
…
If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest (sticking with the previous theme):
If religions were flavors of ice cream, what flavors would they be and why…?
Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.
Good luck!
[tags]atheist, atheism, contest[/tags]
Permalink ~
02.20.08
Posted in Contests, Downloadable PDFs at 3:00 pm by Hemant Mehta
Last week, I ran this contest:
What did you (or would you) give up for Lent?
Here are the Top 3 responses (with submitters)!
3|
I’d give up Klondike bars.
Then, when someone asks me what I’d do for one, I’d say “not break my lenten sacrifice, jerk!”
(Brad)
2|
I’m giving up my civil liberties (what’s left of them)… as a practice run just in case Huckabee manages to pull out a win.
(Anne)
1|
i’m giving up the shift key. among other things, this means no money, no email, no quotes, no questions, and no excitement. i’ll probably miss the snide parenthetical remarks most.
(John)
Congratulations to the winners! The top three will be receiving specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!
…
If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest:
Recently, Jesus was struck by lightning:
Why was he being punished by God?
(Thanks to Chris for the suggestion!)
Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.
Good luck!
[tags]atheist, atheism, contest[/tags]
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