Friendly Atheist by @hemantmehta » Contests

Friendly Atheist Contest #41: Atheists and Pants

Hemant Mehta — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 21:00:09 +0000

Last time, I ran this contest:

Taking a cue from this list…

Replace any word from the title of, or a line from, a book about atheism… with the word “Pants.”

For example, “The Pants Delusion” or “Atheism: The Case Against Pants.”

(If you use a line from a book, give us the name of the book and the page number!)

Here are the Top 10 answers (with submitters):

10|

The Blind Pantsmaker — Richard Dawkins

(a parody of)

(Riker)

(In a reversal of the rules)

Sisterhood of the Traveling Atheists — Ann Brashares

(a parody of)

(flatlander100)

Expelled: No Pants Allowed

(a parody of)

(Andre Pena)

Atheist Manifesto: The Case Against Christianity, Judaism, and Pants — Michel Onfray

(a parody of)

(Shelley Mountjoy)

God Doesn’t Believe In Pants — Ray Comfort

(a parody of)

(The Science Pundit)

(In a reversal of the rules)

SpongeBob SquareAtheist

(a parody of)

(jedipunk)

Letting Go of Pants — Julia Sweeney

A memoir of how one woman learned to live without trousers, slacks, or britches.

(a parody of)

(EnsignRose)

There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your pants.

This has the added benefit of possible sponsorship by Dockers.

(a parody of)

(Hank Bones)

There are no pants in foxholes.

(Enough said.)

(Reginald Selkirk)

Parenting Beyond Belief: On Raising Ethical, Caring Kids Without Pants — Dale McGowan

(a parody of)

(Snuggly Buffalo)

…

Congratulations to the winners! The top three will be receiving specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!

…

If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest:

What horrifying, frightening, shocking things take place inside this building…?

Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.

Good luck!

Friendly Atheist Contest #40: How Obama Will Reach Out to Atheists

Hemant Mehta — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 21:00:21 +0000

Last time, I ran this contest:

Barack Obama has taken a presidential oath without a Bible. He mentioned non-believers in his Inaugural Address.

In what way will President Obama reach out to atheists next?

Here are the Top 3 answers (with submitters):

In an effort to balance faith-based initiatives, FriendlyAtheist.com becomes eligible for federal grants.

(postsimian)

His administration’s position towards “faith-based initiatives” will be “abstinence only”.

(Wes)

I’m afraid it won’t be quite as rosy as many of you depict… you think he’s closing Gitmo? He’s just making space….

(J Myers)

…

If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest:

Taking a cue from this list…

Replace any word from the title of, or a line from, a book about atheism… with the word “Pants.”

For example, “The Pants Delusion” or “Atheism: The Case Against Pants.”

(If you use a line from a book, give us the name of the book and the page number!)

Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.

Good luck!

Friendly Atheist Contest #39: Future Atheist Ads

Hemant Mehta — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 01:00:38 +0000

Last time, I ran this contest:

The atheist bus ads are now in full force over in England.

It begs the question:

Where else will we be seeing ads about atheism in the future?

Here are the Top 5 answers (with submitters):

On milk cartons. (Hemant’s note: I assume they would say: “God is missing” or something like that.)

(Random Chimp)

The Pope’s hat.

It’s a perfect place for advertising space. And after losing all that money in child-abuse lawsuits, he has to make up the lost revenue somehow.

(Chris Morse)

Disclaimer on inside cover of Bibles (a la Cobb County): “This storybook contains material on ‘god’. ‘god’ is a theory, not a fact, regarding the nature of the universe. This material should be approached with an open mind, studied carefully and critically considered.”

(Andrew)

In the bedroom: “Don’t shout falsehoods while making love”

(Allytude)

One word: Skywriting

(Bill M.)

…

If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest:

Barack Obama has taken a presidential oath without a Bible. He mentioned non-believers in his Inaugural Address.

In what way will President Obama reach out to atheists next?

Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.

Good luck!

Friendly Atheist Contest #37: Praying Outside the Discovery Institute

Hemant Mehta — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 23:00:25 +0000

Last time, I ran this contest:

Why are atheists Tiana and Kate praying outside the Discovery Institute?

(Pic via Kate_Holden)

…

Clearly, most of you decided to answer your own reworded questions… which makes deciding the winners difficult.

Ah well.

Here are the Top 5 explanations… or responses (with submitters):

Due to an overabundance of Thetans, their bodies swelled just enough for their Mormon Temple Underpants, (don’t ask why – their lingerie is their own business), to cut off the circulation to their legs, thus dropping them to their knees. Knowing that they must restore blood-flow to their lower extremeties, they began a Buddhist clapping exercise designed to raise the heart-rate. At that precise moment, a wandering Quaker photo-essayist, working for a well-known TV medium, wandered by and snapped their pic for the medium’s brochure to put above a fictitious quote thanking him for reuniting someone with their long-dead ancestor.

Being in front of the DI was just weird luck.

(Postman)

They’re not praying. They’re doing entropy calculations to ward off the Dembski.

(Janothar)

They’re praying there’s a working bathroom in there.

(Matt)

I don’t think they’re praying, I think the door only opens when you’re in the prayer stance…

(Ray)

“Oh, you meant we should be preying on the people inside The Discovery Institute.”

(William)

…

If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest:

A recent poll asked 1,600 British children to “name the individual they considered the biggest celebrity.”

In first place: Simon Cowell.

In second place: God.

I think that gives new meaning to the word “Idolatry“…

But it raises another question:

In what other ways is Simon Cowell better than God?

Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.

Good luck!

(Thanks to Gracie for the idea!)

New Contest: Praying Outside the Discovery Institute

Hemant Mehta — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 00:00:52 +0000

Time for a new contest! It’s been a while…

Why are atheists Tiana and Kate praying outside the Discovery Institute?

(Pic via Kate_Holden)

Remember — you’re playing for Friendly Atheist wristbands!

Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.

Good luck!

(And, by the way, both girls will soon be appearing on the Skepticality podcast.)

Friendly Atheist Contest #34: Worst Ways to Come Out as an Atheist

Hemant Mehta — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 14:00:52 +0000

Last time, I ran this contest:

This weekend is the Atheist Coming Out Party in Columbus, OH.

This raises the question:

What is the worst way to come out as an atheist?

It can be a statement, a dialogue/scene, a sign, etc. The question is open to interpretation!

Here are the Top 5 ways (with submitters):

In poster form:

(hoverFrog)

Worst coming out speech:

“I accept your nomination for President of the United States and look forward to becoming the first atheist to serve in the White House.”

(ubi dubius)

I wouldn’t recommend coming out to ones mom like I did mine, although I doubt it is the worst way it could be done. My mom was going on about religion and wouldn’t let it go and I said “Good grief, Mom, I stopped believing in god not long after I stopped believing in Santa Clause!”. She stopped talking at that moment.

(Jewel)

So there I was, hanging out with Pat Robertson, Rick Perry, and Fred Phelps on a hunting trip deep in backwoods Alabama, to which I said “Boy, who would imagine an atheist would get the chance to hang out with all of you!”

(Jason)

Trip and fall onto a table, crushing a plate of communion wafers, the other end of the table flips up and a bible flies into the fireplace and is consumed by flames and also the table hits a woman holding a baby and it soars straight into an open microwave oven. Throw up your arms and exclaim “It’s ok! I’m an atheist!”

(Krista)

…

If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest:

Atheists were not invited to the Democratic National Convention’s Interfaith Gathering.

What other events are atheists not being invited to? Why not?

Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.

Good luck!

Friendly Atheist Contest #33: Your Atheism is so Militant…

Hemant Mehta — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 20:00:39 +0000

Last week, I ran this contest:

You’ve heard of Yo’ Mama jokes? (e.g. Yo’ mama is so ugly that when she joined an ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no professionals.”)

Well, finish this statement:

Yo’ atheism is so militant…

Here are the Top 5 statements (with submitters):

Yo’ atheism is so militant, the Pope says yo’ Mama should have had an abortion.

(ubi dubius)

Yo’ atheism is so militant, PZ Myers started complaining about your billboards.

(Derek)

Yo’ atheism is so militant, crackers desecrate themselves on hearing of you.

(Allytude)

Yo’ atheism is so militant, you’ve been excommunicated by the Unitarians.

(ubi dubius)

Yo’ atheism is so militant, you disowned your kid ’cause he was cross-eyed.

(Wes)

…

Honorable Mention goes to hoverFrog for this entry… and the hilarious accompanying picture:

…

If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest:

This weekend is the Atheist Coming Out Party in Columbus, OH.

This raises the question:

What is the worst way to come out as an atheist?

It can be a statement, a dialogue/scene, a sign, etc. The question is open to interpretation!

Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.

Good luck!

[tags]atheist, atheism, contest[/tags]

Friendly Atheist Contest #32: Atheist Motivational Posters Redux

Hemant Mehta — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 13:00:19 +0000

Last week, I ran this contest:

It was so successful last time, it’s time to try it again:

Create a motivational poster for atheists!

Here is the website that allows you to do it. Send your final products to .

Here are the Top 10 posters (with submitters) — Click on the images for larger versions!

10|

(Adrian)

(Dana)

(Greymalkin)

(Jeff)

(John)

(Margy)

(Aditya)

(Hoverfrog)

(Ian)

(Joe)

…

No contest like this is complete without the Honorable Mentions. They may not have made the Top Ten, but they were amusing, shocking, or otherwise entertaining…

Honorable Mention|

(John)

Honorable Mention|

(Stuart)

Honorable Mention|

(Anfractuous)

…

If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest (Thanks to reader Matt for the suggestion!):

You’ve heard of Yo Mama jokes? (e.g. Yo mama is so ugly that when she joined an ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no professionals.”)

Well, finish this statement:

Yo atheism is so militant…

Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.

Good luck!

[tags]atheist, atheism, contest[/tags]

Friendly Atheist Contest #31: More Surprises From the U.S. Religious Landscape Survey

Hemant Mehta — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 01:00:17 +0000

Last week, I ran this contest:

We recently learned that one in five atheists actually believes in God.

What other surprises did we discover from the U.S. Religious Landscape Survey?

Here are the Top 3 responses (with submitters)!

Atheists consume, per person, 3 times the national average of bananas.

(Old Beezle)

The most popular type of “holy Mormon underwear” is the thong.

(Cobwebs)

1 in 5 atheists believes they are god.

(Josha)

…

If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest:

It was so successful last time, it’s time to try it again:

Create a motivational poster for atheists!

Here is the website that allows you to do it. Send your final products to .

Funny, positive and creative answers will have a shot at winning.

Good luck!

[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]

Friendly Atheist Contest #30: Atheist Store Receipts

Hemant Mehta — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 17:00:06 +0000

Last week, I ran this contest:

You went shopping at an atheist store.

What’s it called?

Where is it located?

What did you buy?

How much did it cost?

I want to know what your receipt looks like!

Here are the Top 3 responses (with submitters)!

(Ross)

(Brandon)

(Scott)

And an honorable mention to H.M. who made me laugh with this one:

…

If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest:

We recently learned that one in five atheists actually believes in God.

What other surprises did we discover from the U.S. Religious Landscape Survey?

Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.

Good luck!

[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]