ChurchOuting.org is a clearinghouse for reports of priests who are openly gay men in social settings yet professionally closeted in their parishes. The campaign will also accept reports of heterosexual priests who are involved in romantic or sexual relationships, yet support the Archbishop’s efforts to harm lesbian and gay families.

I’m all for it, and not just for Catholics. Let’s expose all pastors who tells their church that homosexuality is immoral while at the same time having an affair (gay or straight) of their own.

Call them out on their bullshit.

For what it’s worth, the website has good intentions and the creators are not simply anti-Catholic:

… we encourage every Catholic priest to trust in God and in the power of the Christ to help you through this difficult, but important act of truth, faith and love. It is not the intention of this site to complicate the lives of closeted gay priests, rather to help them make the difficult choice to stand up against the hateful and harmful new direction the Church hierarchy is taking the Holy Mother Church.

(Thanks to grazatt for the link!)

(via Bigot Blog)

…

Jon Stewart on The Daily Show offered Will the protective services of wrestler Mick Foley:

…

Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report gave Will a “Wag of His Finger”:

…

Kyra Phillips on CNN had a message for anyone who is bullying Will:

Beautiful.

Keep it up, Will! We’re all inspired by you

The point of the campaign is to point out how absurd it is to thrust a label — any label — onto a child who doesn’t even understand what that label means. It would be foolish to call any kid a “Republican child” or a “Catholic child” or an “Agnostic child.”

That idea hits home any more when you read this ridiculous column by Ruth Gledhill in the Times Online.

She quotes Brad Mason, a Christian pastor, whose kids happen to be the ones featured in the ads:

He said: “It is quite funny, because obviously they were searching for images of children that looked happy and free. They happened to choose children who are Christian. It is ironic. The humanists obviously did not know the background of these children.”

*facepalm*

It is ironic, indeed.

Wait. There’s more:

Gerald Coates, the leader of the Pioneer network of churches, which Mr Mason and his family used to attend before they moved to Dorset, said: “I think it is hilarious that the happy and liberated children on the atheist poster are in fact Christian.

Clearly, they couldn’t get past the kids’ images to read the words written on the ads.

These are not Christian children.

They are the children of Christian parents.

Get. It. Right. And stop labeling them.

…

On a side note, what’s with the headline for this article?

Children who front Richard Dawkins’ atheist ads are evangelicals

These are not Dawkins’ ads. He may support them, but this is not his campaign. And they’re certainly not pro-atheism.

Who the hell is writing this stuff?!

This was billed as a discussion (as opposed to a debate) and I thought it delivered that. I said what I wanted to say, and I think Dr. Chad Meister (the Christian on the panel; he’s on the right in the picture below) would say the same. Pastor Mark Bergin was the moderator (below, left) and he asked some very good questions to lead the discussion.

I’m told video of the event will be coming soon and I’ll post it if I get it.

Jeremy Witteveen was in the audience and he has a lot to say about the event. He’ll talk more about the panel next week, but for now, he shares his thoughts on the movie itself (he wasn’t a fan).

I bring this up because of something else Jeremy alluded to on his website and which he’ll talk more about soon — I felt the same way about it so I’m glad I wasn’t alone. (Codemenkey agrees, too.)

The Question & Answer time was almost entirely dominated by atheists. (Which is fine. I’m glad they went up to the microphone to ask their questions. I wish more Christians would’ve done that.)

The problem: Many of those atheists used the time not to ask a question, but to tell everyone about their views of religion.

For example, they felt the need to comment on things Wilson argued in the movie. There was no question posed to me or Chad — it was just long, rambling, word vomit. Or they told stories about their encounters with religious people who made really bad arguments in favor of God’s existence.

If it happened once, I could just chalk it up to a self-righteous person who just enjoys the sound of his own voice.

Unfortunately, it happened several times. And it was annoying as hell: to the (mostly Christian) audience, to me, to Jeremy, and (I’m sure) many of the other atheists who came to watch.

This isn’t the first time I’ve seen it happen. I’ve been to plenty of atheist conventions where people have done the same thing. (Which makes no sense… who are you trying to convince with your views?!) It’s particularly frustrating because at many of these events, you come because of the speaker (Richard Dawkins, for example). You want to hear his views in the limited time you have, not the views of random people from the audience.

I wish our moderator in this case would have cut them off and just asked, “What’s your question?” but he was in a rough position as a Christian pastor — he may have been thinking of the backlash he would receive if he kept cutting off atheists who wanted to speak their minds. I don’t blame him for letting them go on… and on… and on.

I don’t know if this sort of thing goes on at non-religious events as well, but it needs to stop.

The best solution I’ve found is to collect questions from the audience before the panel discussion starts. The audience writes down what they want to ask, a volunteer collects the cards and hands them to the moderator, and the moderator chooses which questions are most worth hearing the answers to.

Have you all experienced anything like this? How have you handled it?

The use of the word “unauthroized” in the fine print in the opening seconds of the video helps my case that Prayer Works Interactive isn’t a real company. (Spelling to the rescue!)

Maybe the company’s name is an anagram for something…

Hello,

A few years ago, I met my biological mother (and siblings, etc.) for the first time at the age of 30. I had been corresponding with her, and one of my sisters, for about a year before hand, during which I found out that she was had a strong xtian faith. I had figured as much, as I was adopted through Catholic Charities. They all know I am an atheist, which is something I don’t hide — no one talks to me about it, or brings up their faith to me.

The first birthday we shared, she got me Blue Like Jazz, a book described as “non-religious thoughts on xtian spirituality” (I gave it away). For Xmas, I got a small, fold up manger decoration. I also got a copy of the book, The Shack, but didn’t realize what it was about at the time. I figured that she was sharing things she enjoyed with me.

When I read The Shack, I started to understand her way of thinking: her faith is not about dogma, just god/jesus’s perfect love and a personal relationship with god. Choosing to “live apart” from god is empty, incomplete, without love or trust, even rebellious- independent in a bad way. All of the explanations/apologetics illustrated how flawed the whole theory of god is. But because she takes god as a fact, and has always been comforted by faith, being without it is truly incomprehensible. I began to feel offended (not the best word) for the first time.

Then, for Easter, I got a typical xtian card from her, but she had also written that she “hoped I would reconsider (god)”. It was only a one line note, but I was very bothered by it. I still can’t put my finger on WHY these things bothered me so much — but it did.

I discussed this with all my atheist friends, and a few that are not, but no one was sure what to do. I am outspoken, but mostly polite, and am baffled by what to do. I toyed with the idea of giving her an atheist philosophy book for every xtian one she gives me (what to give her?), but wasn’t sure if it was a good idea.

Ideally, I would like her to see that it is possible to be happy and complete without god/jesus. I would settle for never getting another xtian card. She is not closed minded or hateful in any way, and I know she is doing this out of love- but it doesn’t make it acceptable.

What would you do? Any ideas why did the card/book bother me so much????

Thanks!

Stephanie

Dear Stephanie,

I always hesitate to hypothesize on the thoughts and motives of people. Speculating about why someone thinks, feels or does something is a risky prospect. Such suppositions should be accompanied by broad and frequent qualifiers. “Maybe, possibly, perhaps, I suppose, I imagine, it could be” keep us humble while playing at being mind readers. We can only know our own minds, and often we’re strangers to parts of ourselves as well.

In the end, even if we are correct, all we have to our question of why we or someone else thinks feels or does something, is a “because.” Having that answer doesn’t automatically change anything. Changing things takes time and work.

However, having some understanding about another’s motives can sometimes help us to find more patience and compassion for them. If we get an accurate glimpse of the emotions behind their actions, we have the chance to empathize, and empathy tends to make any relationship better.

Understanding your own feelings about your mother’s gifts are linked to understanding what may be her motives. So I’ll begin with some highly conditional speculation about your mother first:

She gave you up for adoption under circumstances not stated here. Regardless, I imagine that it was very difficult and even painful for her. She may have a great deal of regret or guilt surrounding that. Then 30 years later you reappear in her life, having been raised by someone else, having had experiences and influences beyond her control. She learns that you are an atheist. She may think that this is one of the things that would have been different if she had been able to raise you. It might be a source of regret or guilt for her, as she wonders how you might have turned out differently. “Would have, could have, and should have, if only” can torment people like harpies. So possibly, she hopes to try to correct something that “went wrong” in her absence. Perhaps, trying to make up for lost time, she wants to give you what she sees as a gift, her faith.

In your description of your understanding of her beliefs, the statement “To live apart from God is empty, incomplete, without love” may hold some special insight into her experience. She had to live apart from you, and it might have felt terribly empty, incomplete, and without love. She knows what that is like, and she doesn’t want that for you.

Stephanie, since main question of your letter is why are you increasingly perturbed by your mother’s religious gifts and remarks, now I’ll do some highly conditional speculation about you. Please accept my apologies in advance if I’m way off, which is quite possible.

You described your feelings as, “offended, (not the best word)” and “very bothered.” I wonder if your feelings could be summed up as “hurt.” Perhaps you think she is making a statement about you by giving you these religious things, and you think it’s not a flattering statement, so your feelings are hurt. Maybe you think she’s saying that you are mistaken, or wrong, or foolish, or immature, or “rebellious-independent in a bad way,” or the worst thing she could possibly say: that now that she’s met you after 30 years, you are a disappointment.

Ouch. That hurts.

Remember, these are only my speculations about your speculations about a third person’s possible statement hidden in her giving you gifts and cards, a statement that may not be be there at all. As I said, guessing what’s in another’s mind this is a risky prospect. It’s probable that none of it is correct, and let’s hope so, because that’s a lot of unnecessary hurt.

Most likely, these gifts are statements about her, rather than you. I think that if your mother has gone through and may still be going through just some of the painful things I’ve postulated, then it’s not likely that her religious gifts mean that she’s judging you disapprovingly. Any disapproval or disappointment she is feeling is probably directed back onto herself.

I think you are on the right track when you say that you know she’s doing this out of love. I would only add that she’s doing it out of love, mixed with sadness, pain and regret, as well as hope for redemption.

I suggest that you receive these things graciously, accepting them as her gestures of love. The only statement about you in them is that clearly, she thinks that you are worthy of love. Enjoy them for that, then discard them, give them away, or put them in a box labeled “Bio Mom’s Love.”

I agree that it is not a good idea for you to give her an atheist philosophy book for every Christian one she gives you, or any tit-for-tat kind of response. It seems clear that you want the relationship to increase in acceptance, not decrease. Sending unwanted things to her would most likely only create a similar kind of upset that you have been experiencing, because she might assume similar unintended meanings of disapproval by you.

Her religion is a large part of her life. My guess is that your atheism is a much smaller part of yours. There is so much more to what you do with your life than not having a belief in gods.

Send her things that reflect your life and what is important to you. For instance, you said that ideally, you would like her to see that it is possible to be happy and complete without God or Jesus. Rather than sending her things to convince her of that, just demonstrate the happiness and completeness that is real for you. I’m guessing that you don’t go out to try to be happy and complete specifically without God or Jesus, you just try to be happy and complete, period. Share your successes in that way with her. Let her feel proud and happy for you. Leave the theism and the atheism out of it entirely; it isn’t that relevant in this relationship, because there’s so much more to you than that.

You have here the opportunity for a relationship with a person who loves you for a very primal reason. You seem to be able to accept her religiosity as simply a part of who and what she is. Reframe her religious gifts and gestures to you, seeing them as expressions of love instead of disapproval of you, and then you can enjoy and return that love unhindered.

Richard

You may send your questions for Richard to . All questions will eventually be answered, but not all can be published. There is a large number of requests; please be patient.

I try to stay away from that — and it’s always nice reading comments by atheists on this site that show religious people some kindness and empathy — but no doubt it seeps in from time to time.

Greta Christina believes that when religious people visit atheist websites (or read skeptical magazines or atheist books), they are making their first steps toward atheism whether they know it or not. And we ought to help them with that journey.

… They’re proto-atheists. Any formerly-religious atheist knows that these kinds of doubts and questions and investigations are the first cracks in the foundation of faith. These folks — some of them, anyway, maybe a lot of them — are taking their first steps to atheism.

So what does this mean for atheists?

I think it means we have to be patient.

…

Patience doesn’t mean letting ourselves be kicked around. What it means is remembering that we’re talking to human beings, and treating them as such. It means being rigorously careful about critiquing ideas and beliefs without insulting people… It means remembering that it’s not fair to treat people like they’re stupid just because they’re not familiar with the ideas we’re so intimately familiar with. It means keeping in mind how hard it can be to let go of religion. It means remembering that we’re asking people to abandon a form of comfort they’ve relied on for years… and are asking them to make themselves into one of the most hated groups in the world, and quite possibly to alienate their family and friends, while they’re at it.

Sometimes, treating religious people (and their beliefs) with anything but spite is unbelievably difficult. But it’s necessary if we want to persuade anyone to consider our views.

Greta wrote that after reading a posting by Sarah Braasch at Daylight Atheism — Both pieces are great reads and well worth a few minutes of your time.

I spent the last week filling in for Daniel Florien at UnreasonableFaith. Writing just three posts a day gave me an appreciation for how much time Hemant and Dan put into their blogs, especially given that they have full-time (and then some) jobs. A round of applause is due.

If you don’t read UnreasonableFaith, you should go check it out. I had a few posts I particularly enjoyed writing, including one looking at vigilante justice in our cultural stories (Boondock Saints or Sinners) and one on the similarities between reported alien encounters and demon encounters (Aliens vs Demons).

I was hoping to pick up here at FriendlyAtheist where I left off at UnreasonableFaith: inviting everyone to add me as a friend on facebook and follow me on my nascent twitter account. I’ve been looking to get more involved in the nontheistic community – both online and in person (or IRL as young folks say.)

In that last post I also put up a picture of myself that I’ve been thinking about long time and finally got around to doing:

Jesse Galef reading The Portable Atheist while breakdancing

I figured The Portable Atheist is a fairly recognizable cover. Contrary to what some on facebook are insisting, the starbursts are just my reflective Newbalance logos. It is not God.

For those of you who don’t believe me, feel free to send money and I’ll send you more information – including pictures – of my hol(e)y shoes for you to worship.

It wasn’t long before restaurant management asked the group to remove the sign advertising their group from their table.

Claire Weaver, an organizer of the atheist group, explained it this way:

The manager came over and told us to take the sign down. Flabbergasted, we asked why; she said she’d received several complaints (from who, she wouldn’t say – though the gray-haired man at the bar who kept giving us evil stares definitely aroused our suspicions), and the signs had to go.

What did the sign say that was so offensive?

You won’t believe it.

You may have to sit down for this.

Ready?

Seal Beach Atheists Meeting

… That’s it.

I know. Full of evil.

Mojoey was there and he has contact information for the tavern, in case you’d like to send them a friendly little email.

(via Deep Thoughts)