Posted by Hemant Mehta in No.
That is not Jesus in your bruise.
Believe it or not, bruisee Mary Massa is a Christian. Shocking, I know.
*sigh*
(Thanks to Katelyn for the link!)
Jesus Bruise?
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Looks more like Andre the Giant to me. The ABC News watermark makes me sad. I thought crap like this was more Fox’s territory.
Andre? I was thinking Tommy Chong.
Shakespeare.
Good thing she didn’t get a shot in the ass.
You’re all way off. That’s Barry Gibb.
The more I look at it, the more it looks like bruise-man is sticking his tongue out at the world. Which, really, seems kind of appropriate: “Ha-ha, I’m a BRUISE, and y’all are wasting time obsessing over me. Idiots.”
(And yes, I did in fact come here to look at it again even though I’m the one that sent it to you. Sometimes I can’t stop myself from being fascinated by dumbness.)
Wow, Jesus is appearing everywhere these days.
Except, you know, in person.
Salvador Dali
Charles Manson? Rob Zombie? Jonathon Davis or Zack De La Rocha with a beard? “I’m Afraid Of Americans”-era Trent Reznor? (Yes, I’m aware that’s a David Bowie song, but Reznor produced it and was “Johnny” in the video)
EDIT:
I just realized that I like a lot of musicians who have a tendency to look like what Christians tell us Jesus looks like. Latent religiousity on my part maybe?
That’s not jesus… it’s Ted Nugent.
Just looks like a bruise to me.
Che Guevara?
Don Quixote. He’s fictional too.
It is a dark background because it is nighttime. On the right, Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King, is facing left with a hand in front of his face.
Clearly, this is the Nightmare After Christmas.
More like Osama Bin Laden.
It’s Frank Zappa!!
The stupid, does it burn much do you think?
I’m tired of seeing jesus, the guy is appearing literally everywhere.
GOATS ON FIRE!
Dick Dastardly
With those sad-dog eyes, it looks like Nicholas Cage playing Jesus!
So is she pressing charges against him for battery?
You are all wrong, its clearly Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride.
It looks like Junior Gorg from Fraggle Rock.
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3472/3221615649_4ace80196b.jpg
Are you kidding? It sooo clearly is Albert Einstein!
pic
All of these Jesus visions are harder to see than those damn Magic Eye pictures.
Hemant clearly has a lock on the atheist comedian community. Thanks guys for some morning entertainment.
It’s George Harrison. She shouldn’t worry: All things must pass. Hare Krishna and all that.
This made me laugh so hard I had to come and make my first comment.
However, I must add that this is clearly Ponce de Leon.
Look at the size of that nose. It’s clearly (okay in no way is it clearly anything) Cyrano de Bergerac.
Charles Manson
Turn it upside down and it’s clearly Mark Twain.
I miss the days when Jesus appeared in things like grilled cheese sandwiches… certainly more tasteful, or at least, tastier.
Does anyone else wonder if this is going to cause people to inflict bruises upon themselves in order to see Jesus?
Also, wow, is that a big bruise. Anyone know how she acquired it? T’would be the ultimate sadness if it were, in fact, a domestic abuse bruise – now “endorsed” by “Jesus.”
The naked guy from Life of Brian “Those are MY junipher bushes!”
I wonder who it will look like during the stages of healing. That’s the chronology I want to see.
I also thought
Don Quixote. But I could go with Cyrano. Jesus? Not so much.
You know, if you look at it a certain way, that nose is HUGE.
I am thinking it looks kinda like Arlo Guthrie. “ROCK ON, woman of mystical bruises!” I like how the News Anchor said he “didn’t mean to make fun”. Yes you did, YES YOU DID. How can you not? Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t a grilled cheese sandwich, but it is silly.
Kind of looks like Dan Haggerty, t.v.’s Grizzly Adams. The last time i saw him make an appearance before this bruise was about 4 years ago when he visited the Moonlite Bunny Ranch on an episode of “Cathouse”.
Blood born images of Jesus….talk about a slippery slope.
Next image – Jesus in my Maxi Pad.
*cue loud round of “EWWWWWWW!!”s
(you guys really don’t want to know where my mind went from the Maxi Pad starting point)
I second ironflange‘s assessment – it’s Salvador Dali. Possibly Peter Sellers playing Inspector Clousteau playing Salvador Dali.
Rotated to the left I can get a turtle skull on fire. No goats though.
(Lagunatic – seeing things in blood and guts is not exactly a new phenomenon… think haruspicy)
Yum, haruspicy.
Well, I guess I know what I’m cooking for dinner! Bangers and mash it is.
I also see Sgt Floyd Pepper from the Electric Mayhem (The Muppet Show Band).
I guess that’s what you get from “blind faith”: You run into things. And if you run into a something Jesus-face-shaped, the bruise will look like Jesus’ face … at least to you and your bad eye-sight
Umm… looks like Rasputin to me. A friend of mine says it’s the Scream murderer. I still say Rasputin ;P
I think it look like a nasty bruise vaguely in the shape of any bearded guy possible. It really depends on what you want to see.
So I’m going with Rob Zombie
Why is Jesus beating up on her? What horrible sin did she commit? Blasphemy? Since we know that’s worse than rape, murder, etc.
I want to know who has punched her with a big Jesus ring on their finger. Bling it up for Jesus.
Still, that doesn’t even look that much like a face. As their faith becomes less tenable, they certainly get more desperate for signage.
Certainly doesn’t look anything like the Jesus I know. ;o)
To be fair to ABC, the anchors did take the piss quite a bit. Because, yeah, it was the doctors that told her to go to the press. She didn’t want to… much.
D
My vote is for Rasputin.
I see a purple Muppet.
[...] 5. Jesus likes branding Christians. [...]