Friendly Atheist by @hemantmehta » Dwight Howard, God Lose NBA Finals


Dwight Howard, God Lose NBA Finals


Dwight Howard and the Orlando Magic lost in the NBA Finals…

The same Dwight Howard who had quite a bit to say about God going into the series…

Dwight Howard confidently declared his team, the Magic, would win the NBA championship because of his god. The exact words were, “God. That’s the reason, I’m telling you.”…

But he lost.

I’m still waiting for any reporter to call him out on it.

I’m not holding my breath.

Post to Twitter Post to Digg Post to Facebook Post to Reddit Post to StumbleUpon



25 Responses

  1. avatar littlejohn Says:

    This didn’t have to happen. God kept Jesus on the bench for the whole game. According to theology and anatomy expert Oral Roberts, Jesus is exactly 900 feet tall. Very tough to defend his slam dunks.

  2. avatar Darwin's Dagger Says:

    Everyone knows that God is a Laker’s fan. I’m sure that Dwight will blame the lack of faith of his teammates and the Magic fans. God didn’t fail. A God that never actually has to do anything never can.

  3. avatar Matto the Hun Says:

    @ Dwight Howard: Your God sucks Haw! Haw!

    Wouldn’t it have been awesome if somebody from the other team say that if they won it would be because of Thor, or Zeus. Then we could say Thor kicked God’s ass.

  4. avatar Darwin's Dagger Says:

    Dude, why are Scientology ads coming up on your blog? I know you don’t control the ad content, but if they’re going to put that kind of crap on your blog, you may want to rethink the whole ad thing.

  5. avatar Teleprompter Says:

    Why does God *always* seem to back the team that has more talent and experience, better perimeter play and a more physical inside presence?

    Maybe the better team wins, and God has nothing to do with it? Or maybe, if God is powerful enough to punish the Magic through the Lakers…wow, rationalization is fun.

  6. avatar Infinitemonkey Says:

    Jesus fouled out, he was caught walking on water.

  7. avatar Siamang Says:

    Dude, why are Scientology ads coming up on your blog?

    I say good! Take their money.

    Scientology advertising here has got to be the worst audience for their advertising dollar they could get.

    I think readers of this site are plenty able to view their claims with a dose of skepticism.

  8. avatar Matto the Hun Says:

    Maybe God let the Magic fail because they are called the “Magic” as in witches. G-Dog is not down with the witches I understand. Still that doesn’t explain why he didn’t command the Lakers to commit mass murder on the basket ball court.

    Why did he suffer those witches to live?

    What a let down.

  9. avatar Bill Says:

    There was a comedian once with a great bit about “I blame our loss on Jesus. Everyone else gave 100%, but apparently the Lord thought he could just phone it in. There were several points in the game where a miracle would have won things for us…”

    Does anybody remember this skit and who performed it?

  10. avatar Reginald Selkirk Says:

    But if there were a God, wouldn’t he have given us a championship series with Kobe vs. Lebron?

  11. avatar Frankie Says:

    I heard God was busy watching a soccer game.

  12. avatar Reginald Selkirk Says:

    Meanwhile, in the world of hockey:

    Satan wins the Stanley Cup

  13. avatar littlejohn Says:

    The Magic’s water mysteriously turned to wine, causing the team to become increasingly impaired. Jesus cheated.

  14. avatar anothermike Says:

    The Scientologists are claiming that the Lakers won because ….. Oh, never mind.

  15. avatar Andrew C. Says:

    Hey Howard, where’s your messiah now?

  16. avatar Miko Says:

    If you’ll review the first link, I think you’ll find that he was already “called out” on this ahead of time.

  17. avatar Allytude Says:

    I found myself cheering the Lakers very vociferously. Surprised my husband, he is he Basketball is my religion guy.

  18. avatar Elsin Ann Perry Says:

    Hey! Wait! Isn’t Phil Jackson a Buddhist?! Now it all makes sense! Obviously Howard was counting on the wrong religion!

  19. avatar Brooke Says:

    While it isn’t from anyone in the world of sports writers, at least someone is commenting:

    http://www.examiner.com/x-8071-Philadelphia-Critical-Thinking-Examiner~y2009m6d15-Lakers-defeat-Magic-and-God

  20. avatar Victor Says:

    Perhaps if God had prayed a little harder he would have won. Who knows?

  21. avatar Paul Lundgren Says:

    The FSM’s ways are mysterious, indeed.

  22. avatar Jim Says:

    @Dwight Howard: Where is your god now?

  23. avatar Julie Says:

    If we had won the Cup, maybe I’d believe in God. But now I DEFINITELY don’t.

    (Joking. Kind of.)

  24. avatar Lee Ferrell Says:

    Dwight (”superman” – typical Florida hyperbole). is so painfully young. WAhy van Gundy did not say the simple thing to him – keep the ball up high and away from defenders while setting up. He had the ball taken from him so often cuz God apparently told him, “OOOOO, you are so BIG. Gosh, we’re all really impressed down here, I can tell you.” Missing freethrows and demanding the ball from his mates.

    Over years of playing, studying, and watching the geme, Dwight is too rich and young not to make God-given me-first…, always eternal.

    Blah, blah.

  25. avatar Dori Says:

    Wow – I always wondered how god could ignore things like genocide, starvation, natural disasters and the like – and not use his magic powers to prevent them. Now I get it! He’s busy! Otherwise engaged! He’s focusing his energy on predetermining the outcome of basketball games! and football games! and soccer games!

Leave a Comment

Please note: Comment moderation is enabled and may delay your comment. There is no need to resubmit your comment.

Subscribe without commenting

© Copyright Friendly Atheist by @hemantmehta 2009. All rights reserved. | Powered by Wordpress | Designed by Elegant WPT