Yes, it’s likely she’s just sending it as leverage. But it’s also possible she feels bad. When in doubt, give people the benefit of the doubt.

People only have as much power over you as you give them. If the giver brings up the gift in the future feel free to say “And it was a lovely gift. Now, back to the subject we were talking about….“

I would accept a gift from a relgious person, if that person and I were friends. I would not accept a gift from someone, even an atheist, who was a bitch and a name caller.

My dad is the master of assuming everyone in the world is kind and generous and has something interesting to add to life. Again and again, I see him diffuse tension by paying an honest compliment at a time when anyone else would get their back up and probably come to blows. Nobody wants to be the jerk who abuses someone for saying they’re cool.

My favorite was the time Dad expressed admiration for spinners on a minivan. The guys in the van noticed us noticing their wheels, and at the next stoplight opened their windows and started blustering at us, insinuating that we were racist and probably in need of a good whupping. Dad had never seen spinners before in his life, and when these guys figured out that his compliments were for real, we learned all about where to get some cheap ones of our very own for Mom & Dad’s ancient Volkswagen Jetta.

Assuming the best of people gives an opportunity to connect, whereas assuming the worst pretty much rejects all comers. You may not really want to put spinners on your Volkswagen, but who in their right mind would pass up an opportunity to imagine the possibility?

It’s a nice holiday gesture, so I see absolutely nothing wrong with accepting the gift. Random acts of kindness and so forth. Merry Mythmas, everyone.

I believe that it is important to take the intentions of another in the most positive light you can where ever there is room for interpretation. If someone spills a drink on you then it was most likely an accident, if someone thanks you then it is most likely that they are sincere in their gratitude, if someone sends you a gift it is because they want to give you something. Looking for ulterior motives just makes you seem suspicious.

This person sent you a gift therefore they want you to have a gift. Why is down to them, I’m not going to worry about intent or motives because they don’t concern me. Instead I’d just be grateful for a surprise present and thank them. I like to thank people who send me gifts because I like to acknowledge receipt and return some of that good feeling back to a person. Gratitude costs very little and does no obligate me to any future commitment.