Posted by Hemant Mehta in I spoke at Elmhurst College a couple nights ago about atheism, our image, and my book.
Many thanks to the students who put the event together! Including Josh, who invited me, and Ben, who injured himself while chalking up the campus in promotion of my talk and then saw his efforts wiped away by a snowfall later that day.
Among the thank-yous I received, none was better than this gift from the Secular Students Association at the school:
Talk about interfaith cooperation, they managed to get the Catholic Church to offer me a coupon! Thanks, Bill Donohue!
I can’t wait to redeem it.
That must have cost a pretty penny!
I still want to get an official certificate of excommunication from the Vatican.
How exactly do you redeem this?
I hear there might be a new market on buying and selling “Indulgence Options”… They work like stock options. Of course, this means that indulgences themselves need to be bought and sold on the open market as well. I wonder how much Hemant wants for his 100,000 hours off? Since God is a Republican (AKA stock broker/banker), I’m sure He would have no problem with honoring indulgences that were traded. I guess you just need to be the legal owner of the indulgence at the time of your death. I’m sure God can keep track of that since He is all knowing and all.
Well, first you have to die…
I wouldn’t wipe my ass with that.
Actually, on second thought, I suppose I would.
Of course, an indulgence is worthless unless you make it to purgatory in the first place. Atheists are damned to hell for their disbelief. You’ll need a “Get Out of Hell Free” card, too.
I say nail it to your nearest cathedral door.
Purgatory is allegory- yet another construct by an arguably demented or deceitful writer of scripture. That card ought to say how much your quality of life will be improved before your final dirt nap, because once you’re in the ground (or cremated) that’s as far as it goes.
Oh man, I want one of these. How awesome would that be? I’d get it out and show it to all my friends whenever I had a party.