04.21.08
Friendly Atheist Contest #24: Atheism Similes
Last week, I ran this contest:
Atheism similes!
Fill in the blanks:
Atheists are like _______ because _______________.
or
Atheism is like _______ because _______________.
Here are the Top 10 responses (with submitters)!
10|
Atheists are like butter. Once we’re warmed up we spread easily
(*The submitter’s follow-up*:)
Wife: You know there are two ways to take the “spread easily” right?
Me: What? What do you…? Oooohhh…
9|
Atheists are like smart primates because we are, in fact, smart primates.
(Keith)
8|
Atheism is like money because the only people who believe it can’t bring you happiness are the ones who don’t have it.
(Renacier)
7|
Atheism is like shopping at Whole Foods. All natural, more expensive to maintain the habit (at least in the States), and you’re mostly surrounded by white people.
(P.S.)
6|
Atheism is like bondage — both are sexy, stimulating and require an open mind.
(Kathryn)
5|
Atheists are like sheep, because… well, because that’s what they’re like, and you’d best not question it, because that’s what our forefathers’ forefathers taught us and passed down through the ages, and back then, people knew the TRUTH and they didn’t color it up with modern lies and sinful ways, and we need to GO BACK to those days and reconnect with the early times when we were still living in harmony in the garden and not leaning on our own understanding of things we can never understand and have only progressively misunderstood even worse which is why the world has been falling apart for the last 2000 years out of the 6000 it has existed, all of which PROVES BEYOND ANY DOUBT that atheists are like sheep.
(ashes)
4|
Atheism is like an integer because it is rational.
(Math reference… bonus points?)
(Hemant says: Hell yes!)
(J Myers)
3|
Atheists are like cockroaches because for every one you see there are a thousand you don’t.
And they’ve been around forever and will never go away.
And most people react disgustedly when they see one.
2|
An Atheist is like a condom: Doesn’t break under pressure, scientifically reliable, keeps away any unwanted side-effects, it beats praying and more than one usually scares the crap out of the church.
1|
Atheists are like OB/GYNs. It’s our job to peer into the darkness and help bring life out of it.
(Polly)
Congratulations to the winners! The top three will be receiving specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!
…
If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest:
Spazeboy recently sent me this picture:
Cute, amusing, etc.
Forget the writing, though. The first thing I noticed was the misspelling of the word “atheists.” Just a simple mistake, I figure.
Surely we could do amazingly hilarious things if we deliberately tried to misspell words…
Here’s the challenge:
Create a poster/saying about atheism or faith that becomes humorous with a *slight* change in spelling.
If you create a poster, just send it to: 
Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.
Good luck!
Technorati Tags: atheist, atheism, contest
Popularity: 1% [?]
Susan B. said,
April 21, 2008 at 6:37 pm
I’ll have to think about the poster idea, but in the meantime I have a response to the math-referencing simile:
God is of the form 0+bi, because he’s imaginary.
Theo Doersing said,
April 21, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Alright, third place!! I thought the unpleasant association with cockroaches woulda killed my chances.
I wonder if a terrorist cut off my head if I would still live for 3 more days…
hmmm said,
April 21, 2008 at 9:43 pm
I can only think of ones that involve omitting word(s). Does that still count?
Hemant Mehta said,
April 21, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Sure, why not! Wordplay is the general theme here
J Myers said,
April 21, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Top 3? Damn—I had bonus points and everything. Uh… any extra credit?
I don’t mean to brag (Ok, yeah I do!) « FreeThought Fort Wayne said,
April 21, 2008 at 10:03 pm
[…] 22, 2008 by theodoersing I just wanted to brag about placing 3rd in the Friendly Atheist’s anology contest. This is the post where I should be showered with […]
Jeff said,
April 22, 2008 at 12:42 am
Let go and let Jesus Steer.
To meat the savior, oh so ne’er.
see poster
Ray Harrington said,
April 22, 2008 at 2:05 am
Second place… I am vindicated!
As for the saying, my favorite has always been, “Atheism: A Non-Prophet Organization”
hoverFrog said,
April 22, 2008 at 9:58 am
I do hope you aren’t limiting us to one entry per person.
Laurie Soule said,
April 22, 2008 at 10:15 am
Letter-day Saints
Tired of being ridiculed when you leave a post on an atheist’s blog? We’ll teach you how to spell, punctuate, and capitalize correctly! Then they can only mock you for content.
Derek said,
April 22, 2008 at 10:42 am
Christians aren’t prefect…
…they just spell-check.
Laurie Soule said,
April 22, 2008 at 10:44 am
Oops. I meant leave a comment on an atheist’s blog, not post.
Derek said,
April 22, 2008 at 10:47 am
@Susan
How about:
∃g:g*g<0Oh shit, I think I just proved God’s existence…
miller said,
April 22, 2008 at 3:15 pm
I’ll toss in an idea…
Click
Will said,
April 23, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Way to go miller - homeopathy FTW.
Here’s another idea - some of you may not like it.
Friendly Atheist Contest « FreeThought Fort Wayne said,
April 25, 2008 at 8:49 am
[…] 25, 2008 by Skeptigator The Friendly Atheist has another contest going. Our very own theodoersing placed in the top 3 on this one, I only got 10th, I’m pretty sure […]
Skeptigator said,
April 25, 2008 at 8:53 am
Here’s my submission. Bit of a play on the Ben Stein movie
http://freethoughtfortwayne.org/2008/04/25/friendly-atheist-contest/
Laurie Soule said,
April 25, 2008 at 10:44 am
Skeptigator - That is very similar to the t-shirt I got for my son for Christmas that said Intelligunt Desine.
Friendly Atheist » Friendly Atheist Contest #25: Misspelled Faith Posters said,
April 30, 2008 at 3:00 pm
[…] week, I ran this contest: Create a poster/saying about atheism or faith that becomes humorous with a *slight* change in […]