Friendly Atheist by @hemantmehta » Friendly Atheist Contest #23: Ice Cream Flavors


Friendly Atheist Contest #23: Ice Cream Flavors


Last week, I ran this contest:

If religions were flavors of ice cream, what flavors would they be and why…?

Here are the Top 5 responses (with submitters)!

5|

Jehovah’s Almond Fudge because its flavor is just heavenly and more than a little nutty.

(Laurie Soule)

4|

I just envision someone with a picket sign reading, “It’s Ben & MARY, not Ben & Jerry!”…

(Ray Harrington)

3|

Judaism ice cream is whatever flavor your mother slaved over for days to make for you, and aggravated her arthritis, so would it hurt you to call her once in a while?

(Ubi Dubium)

2|

I’ll go with chocolate, because it’s copied in so many other flavours, and no matter how much, people keep eating it right up.

(Aditya)

1|

Neapolitan, because they only choose the parts they like and leave the parts they don’t.

(Derek)

Congratulations to the winners! The top three will be receiving specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!

FriendlyAtheistBand

If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest (sticking with the previous theme):

Atheism similes!

Fill in the blanks:

Atheists are like _______ because _______________.

or

Atheism is like _______ because _______________.

Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.

Good luck!


[tags]atheist, atheism, contest[/tags]

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29 Responses

  1. avatar Tor Hershman Says:

    Athesim is like religion because they’ll all get flushed down the universal toilet.

    Well, just watch this YouTube film and see for yourselves.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LubuSAgB5s

  2. avatar Reed Braden Says:

    Atheists are like a herd of cats. They say it’s impossible to gather them into groups but somehow they’re able to do it themselves on a regular basis. They’ll also claw out your eyes if you forget to feed them. Last meetup I went to was three hours long and not a sandwich or bagel in sight. Rawr. Hiss. Ffft.

  3. avatar JoshH Says:

    Not to pick (okay, I am picking), but are we talking similes or proper analogies? Analogy:

    Atheism : ______ :: ______ : ______.

    Otherwise you should word it as such: “Atheism similes!” …since a simile is defined as a comparison using “like” or “as.”

    (It’s a rather slow day here at work if you can’t tell :P .)

  4. avatar Robin Says:

    Atheists are like a box of chocolates. Sometimes, you’ll get something creamy and delicious (like Hemant Mehta), and sometimes you’ll get something that leaves a bad taste in your mouth (like Christopher Hitchens).

  5. avatar Laurie Soule Says:

    Atheists are like comfortable shoes because they’re sensible.

  6. avatar Alan Bombria Says:

    I would love to buy a Friendly Atheist wristband. How about adding it to the product gallery? PLEASE???

  7. avatar jim Says:

    Atheists are like early christians, misunderstood and persecuted. And not all that organized.

  8. avatar Skeptigator Says:

    Atheists are like butter once we’re warmed up we spread easily

  9. avatar Skeptigator Says:

    Wife: You know there are two ways to take the “spread easily” right?
    Me: What? What do you…? Oooohhh…

  10. avatar Polly Says:

    Warning, a little graphic.

    1)Atheists are like OBGYN’s, it’s our job to peer into the darkness and help bring life out of it.

    b)Atheists are like Bibles, every xian thinks they know what we’re about, but most haven’t got a clue!

  11. avatar Andrew Says:

    Atheists are like religious fundamentalists because they blindly worship reason, and that argument clearly shows it’s only logical to disregard them.

  12. avatar Keith Says:

    a) Atheists are like puppies because we’re damned cuddly.

    b) Atheists are like smart primates because we are, in fact, smart primates.

  13. avatar Mriana Says:

    Ok this isn’t funny, but I’ll go for it anyway…

    Atheist are like everyone else, because they are human.

    Sorry, it’s the best I could come up with. :(

  14. avatar Hemant Mehta Says:

    Not to pick (okay, I am picking), but are we talking similes or proper analogies? Analogy:

    Atheism : ______ :: ______ : ______.

    Otherwise you should word it as such: “Atheism similes!” …since a simile is defined as a comparison using “like” or “as.”

    (It’s a rather slow day here at work if you can’t tell :P .)

    Curse you for pointing this out and making me feel foolish. :-P

    I changed the posting title to be more accurate.

    But the strict analogy construction might be a fun one to do in the future.

    Thanks!

  15. avatar Hemant Mehta Says:

    I would love to buy a Friendly Atheist wristband. How about adding it to the product gallery? PLEASE???

    Hmm… I’ll have to talk to a few people, but what’s a fair price? And is it worth just keeping it as a prize to be won or a giveaway?

    (Carl Kasell would *never* record the message on your answering machine if you didn’t win a game…)

  16. avatar Renacier Says:

    Athieism is like money because the only people who believe it can’t bring you happiness are the ones who don’t have it.

  17. avatar John Pritzlaff Says:

    If it is possible, Hemant, maybe you could have a different-colored wrist band for people to buy.

    EDIT: Oops, I assumed that they were always yellow, didn’t read the part that said they were made in the colors of the winners’ choices.

  18. avatar P.S. Says:

    Atheism is like shopping at Whole Foods. All natural, more expensive to maintain the habit (at least in the States), and you’re mostly surrounded by white people.

  19. avatar Ashes Says:

    Atheists are like sheep, because.. well, because that’s what they’re like, and you’d best not question it, because that’s what our forefathers’ forefathers taught us and passed down through the ages, and back then, people knew the TRUTH and they didn’t color it up with modern lies and sinful ways, and we need to GO BACK to those days and reconnect with the early times when we were still living in harmony in the garden and not leaning on our own understanding of things we can never understand and have only progressively misunderstood even worse which is why the world has been falling apart for the last 2000 years out of the 6000 it has existed, all of which PROVES BEYOND ANY DOUBT that atheists are like sheep.

  20. avatar Ray Harrington Says:

    An Atheist is like a condom: Doesn’t break under pressure, scientifically reliable, keeps away any unwanted side-effects, it beats praying and more than one usually scares the crap out of the church.

    P.S. after getting 4th on the last contest, Atheism is also alot like myself: Try and try, but somehow fall short of feeling vindicated.

  21. avatar Jen Says:

    Atheism is like religion because- oh wait, they are nothing alike.

  22. avatar Theo Doersing Says:

    Atheists are like cockroaches because for every one you see there are a thousand you don’t.

    And they’ve been around forever and will never go away.

    And most people react disgustedly when they see one.

  23. avatar Kathryn Says:

    A little graphic.

    Atheism is like bondage – both are sexy, stimulating and require an open mind.

  24. avatar Jeff Says:

    Atheism is like seeing the world without blinders because our viewpoint isn’t clouded by an opaque layer of belief and superstition.

  25. avatar Cade Says:

    Atheism is like a religion because of the tax breaks. Oh…wait. Never mind

  26. avatar J Myers Says:

    Atheism is like an integer because it is rational.

    (Math reference… bonus points?)

  27. avatar Dakota Says:

    Atheists are like the law of gravity because a theist can jump off a cliff in anyway they choose and we’re still always right!

  28. avatar Friendly Atheist » Friendly Atheist Contest #24: Atheism Similes Says:

    [...] week, I ran this contest: Atheism [...]

  29. avatar Godamn Says:

    Atheism is like the sanitation department cause without it the world would be full of crap.

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