If Sherman’s description of Davis’ “apology” is accurate and complete, it’s not really an apology. It’s an attempt to mitigate her offensive tirade by appealing to an upset that has nothing to do with what she did and said. She apparently did not acknowledge that what she thinks about atheists is wrong, she only said she should not have said it out loud.

Here’s a similar situation:
1. I deliberately poke you in the eye with an ice pick and call you a piece of shit.
2. You and your friends come down on me like a ton of bricks.
3. Only because of that ton of bricks, I call you up and say I’m sorry for deliberately poking you in the eye with an ice pick and calling you a piece of shit, whining that it was only because I was upset about somebody neither of us ever met having been hurt. I never address how the actual motive of my attack is wrong; I only try to mitigate it with an unrelated excuse.
4. You say you forgive me.
5. I quietly continue to think you’re a piece of shit and keep my ice pick handy.

Such a cheap substitute for an apology does not produce growth in the individual nor does it promote better understanding between opposing sides in a conflict. It just makes for more quiet, careful use of ice picks.

Now here is the anatomy of a real apology:

1. My accurate and thorough description of my offending behavior.
2. My completely unambiguous statement that my behavior was wrong, unacceptable and hurtful to you, and my willingness to listen without any defense to you tell me how it was hurtful to you.
3. My promise to never repeat the behavior again.
4. My sincere request for forgiveness. (This must never be a condition required for the other steps.)
5. My willingness to further discuss the issues of whatever led to the offending behavior, such as my self-centeredness, ignorance, hatred, fear, bigotry, etc. etc.
6. MY COMPLETE LACK OF OFFERING ANY EXCUSE OR MITIGATING CIRCUMSTANCES OR ANY ATTEMPT TO SOFTEN OR REDUCE MY FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE OFFENDING BEHAVIOR AND THE CONSEQUENCES.

This is how I apologize. It’s hard. Needless to say I try harder to avoid doing things that would make me have to make an apology.

An excuse is not an apology. An excuse cancels out the sincerity of an apology. It should never be tacked on to an apology or offered as a substitute. It turns an apology into bullshit.

Next time I’m in Chicago, I might have to drop by, take the woman out for tea with some atheists, and help her take the next step, which is to realize that denying someone their Constitutional rights based on their religious creed or lack thereof isn’t something you can gloss over with a half-hearted excuse.

Who’s in?

She has publicly identified herself to be unfit for office and should resign. I am unsure as to why so many commenter’s here would accept such a blatant miscarriage of acceptable behavior from an elected official… EVERYTHING about the freedoms we enjoy [including operating and posting on blogs like this] relies on upholding the constitution, and in holding our elected officials to a standard that secures its existence.

Com-on people! – this is no time for tolerance! You should demand the minimum acceptable behavior from this person. The behavior we are guaranteed by OUR constitution!

If he can do it, and he’s the one who spoke with her on the phone, it seems reasonable that we should do it as well. Not to forget what she did, but to move on from it.

I have to agree. Hopefully she has learned something from this too.

If he can do it, and he’s the one who spoke with her on the phone, it seems reasonable that we should do it as well. Not to forget what she did, but to move on from it.

I have to agree. Hopefully she has learned something from all of this too.