Posted by Hemant Mehta in I had previously posted about Michael Amini and his story of leaving the Mormon faith.
Dr. Valerie Tarico uses that piece as a starting point for discussing how losing one’s faith can also mean losing your family. You can read it at The Huffington Post.
Many who lose religion muddle along in silent shame — wanting to believe, praying desperately for doubts to be removed, blaming themselves and fending off images of eternal torture before finally giving up the fight. Granted, some lucky few simply flip a bit, but others find themselves dragged reluctantly into an internal conflict takes years.
Most religions implant psychological safeguards against apostasy, little emotional bombs of fear, guilt, shame and self-loathing that get triggered by the mere act of questioning. In religious orthodoxy, doubt is the domain of fools. It is the consequence of having hardened your heart like Pharaoh or resenting God’s power like Lucifer. Oh ye of little faith!
…
…in the absence of dramatic evidence to the contrary, we are all taught to think of religion as harmless.
It’s time to give up the illusion.
(via The Huffington Post)
[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]
I’ve read this and I think Valerie is right on target. I’ve only “peeked out of the closet” with my relatives, but it’s not shame or guilt- it’s fear of their reaction, because they’ve already shown me some of it. My mother would/will blame it on getting an education and she would be right, but I wanted to be educated.
I also think it’s a shame more psychologists are not delving in this area. I agree with Valerie that religion has some dangerous and damaging ideas that need to be irradicated and it needs to start with psychologists and other people of academia. Not that people like my mother and aunt will listen- they won’t, but it would be a start for future generations.
Wow - that’s the best description of this phenomenon that I’ve ever seen. Excellent!
“Most religions implant psychological safeguards against apostasy, little emotional bombs of fear, guilt, shame and self-loathing”
Some religions implant psychological safeguards against apostasy, little actual bombs of harassment, imprisonment, torture and execution.
Of course that could not happen today in the United States or in nations that are friends of the United States?
I recommend http://www.exmormon.org for those leaving mormonism and the bulletin boards there are full of wonderful people. I also got to learn the secret mormon handshake there, no joking.
This is a big reason why there needs to be more atheists groups out there: to dispel the myth that we’re horrible people and as a welcoming place for people leaving and questioning their faith.
The reason why I haven’t told my family or friends is because I’m afraid of their reaction. I’ve been telling myself I will do it but when the time comes I can’t seem to make the words come out. I’ve heard them talk about nonbelievers before and I don’t want that prejudice piled on me as well. I hope that they will change their minds when they see what a thoughtful and honest person I am (but I still worry).
I am a senior undergraduate at university who graduates in May. Thereafter I will hopefully have a full-time job and will be supporting myself financially. At that point it doesn’t matter whether or not my parents and relatives know that I’m an atheist.
I don’t think that my parents would be the type to kick me out. But I’ve read too many stories about non-believing people being disowned to not exercise some caution. After all, my parents completely flipped out when my brother said that he was leaving the Catholic church - and he still attends non-denominational church services.