Followers: Anyone willing to waste time writing witty comments.

Rules:
1) Must try to appease Omnipotent Being that determines followers fate in rank order.
2) Winners must proudly wear cheap apparel.

…crap.

How about a magic carpenter lived 2000 years ago and was raised from the dead after three days?

…crap.

Oh, now I’ve got it. Something so bizzare that it would be ludicrous to believe it. How about 75 billion years ago, Xenu brought billions of people to Earth and blew them up. This let out their thetans, they were brainwashed, and flew into people. Now we have to pay people money to get rid of the thetans and gain sanity!

That’s creative, isn’t it? Right?

…………God damn it!

I guess all the crazy/funny stuff is already taken.

Mission: Love and peace to all things fish.

Symbol: Darwin Fish

Phrase stated upon entering Sacred Area: Holy Mackerel

We could print tee-shirts. Oh the possiblities are endless!

Frank: Mind if I drink this?
Dean: Sure.
Frank: It’s your stage, so I figured I might as well ask..
Dean: Hey, it’s your world; we’re just livin’ in it!

It’s true. It’s Frank’s world, we all just live in it.

God = Greg Graffin, lead singer of Bad Religion
God’s sidekicks = Jay Bentley, Brian Baker, Brett Gurewitz, Greg Hetson, and Brooks (bass, guitar, guitar, guitar, and drums, respectively

Satan = Religious idols/figures

Theme = Humility. Greg Graffin is one of those guys that actually realizes how little the universe as a whole cares about him. His greatest numbers are “No Control,” “Broken,” and “Change of Ideas,” for example; No Control is about how we think we are in control of our surroundings and our lives, but we really aren’t, whereas Change of Ideas is about how it’s okay to have weird beliefs on the side, just as long as you stay open in the long run (Broken is about how people are not disposable just because they might have done something [or had something shitty happen to them] to “mark” them). But the best part is that, at the end of the day, he always reminds you not to treat him like a God (the only God that doesn’t want to be worshipped; imagine that!). He reminds you that he, like you, is a human being, prone to flaw, and that you should take anything he says with a grain of salt. In describing this, I used to say that “there is always an exception.” Then I realized that this phrase is self-defeating, for there must be an exception to the phrase itself or it is not true; therefore, it evolved to become “there is almost always an exception.”

All joking aside, though, this guy is so damn interesting and thought-provoking that I could imagine someone preaching an entire sermon just based on what he and Bad Religion have written. Although I’m sure he wouldn’t like that, as he made clear in “No Direction.”

He’s the epitome of what it means to “live by example.” People like him for his ideas, not because he offers people rewards in the afterlife, or the blessing of an invisible being in the sky (or because he bashes people who do that).