Comments on: Friendly Atheist Contest #10: Surprises in the Pope’s Encyclical http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/ Atheism with Positivity Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:50:31 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Friendly Atheist » Friendly Atheist Contest #11: Atheist Headlines http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/comment-page-1/#comment-101244 Friendly Atheist » Friendly Atheist Contest #11: Atheist Headlines Thu, 13 Dec 2007 00:02:00 +0000 http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/#comment-101244 [...] week, I ran this contest: What other shocking statements will the Pope make in his next [...] [...] week, I ran this contest: What other shocking statements will the Pope make in his next [...]

]]> By: Robin http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/comment-page-1/#comment-100297 Robin Mon, 10 Dec 2007 17:47:02 +0000 http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/#comment-100297 Marriage is defined as the union of one man and one woman. But pre-marital sex is allowed, provided it occurs between one priest and one (or more) altar boys. Marriage is defined as the union of one man and one woman. But pre-marital sex is allowed, provided it occurs between one priest and one (or more) altar boys.

]]> By: SexySecularist http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/comment-page-1/#comment-100279 SexySecularist Mon, 10 Dec 2007 17:19:18 +0000 http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/#comment-100279 "Dude, okay, once it was me and John Paul, and we was hookin' up with some bitches, yos, and I was shaking up some Natty Lights and was like 'dude, you gotta spray that shit' and he was like 'no man, I got finals for revelations' and I was like 'dude, nobody gives a shit, quit being a fag' and he was like 'fuck you' and I was like 'SHUT UP AND SPRAY DUDE' and then he was like 'fine fuck you' and he pierced that shit and went through like fuckin' two six packs and he was like "dude, vodka and red bull' and so I drank a fuckin' fifth and then he was like 'STREAK' and I was like 'FUCK YOU JOHN PAUL' and he was like "RATZINGER, like, STREAK, like, fuckin' STREAK' and we were running and it was fucking snowing and then this stupid motherfucker slips on the ice, and when he gets up there's fuckin' blood cause he tripped and tore his nuts on a fuckin' tree branch, John Paul was fuckin' crying like a little pope bitch and I was like 'quit crying like a little bitch, fag' and we got in my fucking car and I was like 'put down a towel, ass, I'm not getting your fucking blood on my Kia' we had to take him to the emergency room cause his sack was fucking bleeding and shit, and he's all like 'this fuckin' hurts' and I was like 'dude, your sack RIPPED' and they gave him all this vicodin to take home and it was like way more than we needed, so the next weekend we invited over some Delta Phi bitches and we got fuckin' wasted on that shit, and he wore his fucking pimp hat cause he's sick like that, and my dawg, he got some palm loving from one of those Delta Phi pigs, like a real fatty, and I was like 'bitch, you just got pig-handed, fag.' it was fuckin' sick." “Dude, okay, once it was me and John Paul, and we was hookin’ up with some bitches, yos, and I was shaking up some Natty Lights and was like ‘dude, you gotta spray that shit’ and he was like ‘no man, I got finals for revelations’ and I was like ‘dude, nobody gives a shit, quit being a fag’ and he was like ‘fuck you’ and I was like ‘SHUT UP AND SPRAY DUDE’ and then he was like ‘fine fuck you’ and he pierced that shit and went through like fuckin’ two six packs and he was like “dude, vodka and red bull’ and so I drank a fuckin’ fifth and then he was like ‘STREAK’ and I was like ‘FUCK YOU JOHN PAUL’ and he was like “RATZINGER, like, STREAK, like, fuckin’ STREAK’ and we were running and it was fucking snowing and then this stupid motherfucker slips on the ice, and when he gets up there’s fuckin’ blood cause he tripped and tore his nuts on a fuckin’ tree branch, John Paul was fuckin’ crying like a little pope bitch and I was like ‘quit crying like a little bitch, fag’ and we got in my fucking car and I was like ‘put down a towel, ass, I’m not getting your fucking blood on my Kia’ we had to take him to the emergency room cause his sack was fucking bleeding and shit, and he’s all like ‘this fuckin’ hurts’ and I was like ‘dude, your sack RIPPED’ and they gave him all this vicodin to take home and it was like way more than we needed, so the next weekend we invited over some Delta Phi bitches and we got fuckin’ wasted on that shit, and he wore his fucking pimp hat cause he’s sick like that, and my dawg, he got some palm loving from one of those Delta Phi pigs, like a real fatty, and I was like ‘bitch, you just got pig-handed, fag.’ it was fuckin’ sick.”

]]> By: anti-nonsense http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/comment-page-1/#comment-98951 anti-nonsense Fri, 07 Dec 2007 04:15:11 +0000 http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/#comment-98951 "I luvs Jesus, Jesus luvs me too. I has jesus and you can has Jesus too. “I luvs Jesus, Jesus luvs me too. I has jesus and you can has Jesus too.

]]> By: Jeff http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/comment-page-1/#comment-98903 Jeff Fri, 07 Dec 2007 01:36:45 +0000 http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/#comment-98903 "In light of Matthew 5:28, with this file, I will grind away all the nipples on all the Vatican sculptures and with this paint-brush, I will paint over the offending paintings. This action will complete the pogrom started by Pope Pius IX concerning offensive genitalia and other explicit content in papal commissioned art work." “In light of Matthew 5:28, with this file, I will grind away all the nipples on all the Vatican sculptures and with this paint-brush, I will paint over the offending paintings. This action will complete the pogrom started by Pope Pius IX concerning offensive genitalia and other explicit content in papal commissioned art work.”

]]> By: Mercredi http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/comment-page-1/#comment-98897 Mercredi Fri, 07 Dec 2007 01:11:10 +0000 http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/#comment-98897 "We need to broaden our outreach to fertilized eggs. At least 50% of naturally conceived fertilized eggs don't implant - that's half of humanity! Although a corner of heaven is reserved for them, dying before baptism means they are denied the beatific vision - all because their mother's womb refused to grant them shelter. "To the end of saving these souls, we shall institute a weekly baptismal ceremony for the unborn, and require regular attendance of all married or fornicating premenopausal women the Sunday before their monthly flow starts." “We need to broaden our outreach to fertilized eggs. At least 50% of naturally conceived fertilized eggs don’t implant – that’s half of humanity! Although a corner of heaven is reserved for them, dying before baptism means they are denied the beatific vision – all because their mother’s womb refused to grant them shelter.
“To the end of saving these souls, we shall institute a weekly baptismal ceremony for the unborn, and require regular attendance of all married or fornicating premenopausal women the Sunday before their monthly flow starts.”

]]> By: Karen http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/comment-page-1/#comment-98755 Karen Thu, 06 Dec 2007 16:44:57 +0000 http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/#comment-98755 LOL Keith! :-) LOL Keith! :-)

]]> By: Brett http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/comment-page-1/#comment-98735 Brett Thu, 06 Dec 2007 15:42:04 +0000 http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/#comment-98735 I'm an idiot. You buy your way INTO heaven, and out of PURGATORY. Can my edited entry still count? I’m an idiot. You buy your way INTO heaven, and out of PURGATORY.

Can my edited entry still count?

]]> By: Keith http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/comment-page-1/#comment-98732 Keith Thu, 06 Dec 2007 15:28:23 +0000 http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/#comment-98732 Upon hearing of some guy who "sold his soul" on eBay, the church has now reopened the opportunity to purchase indulgences both for oneself and for one's ancestors. Online purchases available with major credit card or by PayPal. Please visit, popedaddyspasstoparadise.com. Upon hearing of some guy who “sold his soul” on eBay, the church has now reopened the opportunity to purchase indulgences both for oneself and for one’s ancestors. Online purchases available with major credit card or by PayPal. Please visit, popedaddyspasstoparadise.com.

]]> By: Brett http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/comment-page-1/#comment-98717 Brett Thu, 06 Dec 2007 14:35:56 +0000 http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/04/friendly-atheist-contest-10-surprises-in-the-popes-encyclical/#comment-98717 Pope: Galileo is back in hell. We retract previous papal decrees to the contrary. Furthermore, Indulgences are back in. Buy your way out of heaven! Boxing Day savings now! Two years out of purgatory for the price of one! Pope:

Galileo is back in hell. We retract previous papal decrees to the contrary.

Furthermore, Indulgences are back in. Buy your way out of heaven! Boxing Day savings now! Two years out of purgatory for the price of one!

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