Whomever wrote the original post is rather ignorant in supposing that all children with Down syndrome are ill. My son is extremely healthy. That she would carry a child with a physical disability shows her ignorance…how many years will she be able to transfer her child from the bed to the wheelchair? How many years will she be able to bathe her child, especially when that child becomes an adult?

Children are children and if you can’t love a child unconditionally, do me a favor and don’t have any.

Amelia

http://www.aaidd.org/Reading_Room/pdf/AJMRDivorceandDownSyndrome.pdf

I can’t believe the nonsense that is spewed by those who live in make-believe land. WOW! I wish I could live in a land where the gov’t paid for all my daughter’s medical and such. I’d love to be able to sue my insurance company into paying everything they have denied…geez, get a life or at least research your facts before you post.

That out of the way. I’m raising a daughter with Down syndrome. She is 2 1/2 and is perfectly healthy no major medical health issues. As another poster stated, we get no help from the gov’t since our income is above the allowed limit for her to collect SSI or receive Medicare or CHIPS. Furhter more, when my husband was unemployed for 4 months…the state came back AFTER THE FACT and asked that we repay part of the assistance we had received.

I think until you have walked in someone’s shoes, you really should not attempt to judge them or their life. Our daughter was diagnosed after her birth. All my prenatal testing gave no indication she would have Down syndrome…they call that a false negative diagnosis. I personally know 3 women who were given a false positve diagnosis…thankfully they are not part of the 91% of women that opt for an abortion…the world would be short 3 perfectly healthy little bundles. Makes me wonder how many of those 91% were also perfectly healthy????

Until you’ve recieved the gift that is a child…you really can’t understand all the things that go through your mind, let alone your heart. We had no idea what to do or how to do it…but we knew how to love and that was the one thing our daughter needed most from us at that time. For her family to love her unconditionally…just as you would any other child put into your arms.

And just as we would with any other child born to our family – we are raising her and caring for her based on the means we can provide ourselves. At times, family has stepped up and helped with the bills. We receive services from ECI and pay our family cost share vs using more expensive private therapy.

We are considering a 2nd child. If testing shows the baby to have a higher than normal chance of being disabled will I abort? No. If I make that decision to be a parent, I am willing to face that reality 100%. I only wish that other women in the world had the support system I discovered in family, friends, co-workers and community.

Dawn, it’s NOT half a life. These kids DO have full lives and are very happy. Have you ever met a child with Down Syndrome? To you observe their smiles and laughters or do you observe the odd facial features and various degrees of intelligence?

Mriana – I apologize as I wasn’t clear enough. I was commenting on the half life quote from the OP. My point being that the half life comment was a dismissal of those with DS.

Personally I’ve known quite a few people with DS and they’ve all been wonderful and full people who I felt honoured to know. Knowing them has assured me that if I ever found out I was carrying a DS child I’d be as happy as if I was carrying a “normal” child.

It seems to me that some who seem to think those with DS are somehow inferior or have a half life are sheltered people with little life experience, in other words, they live half lives themselves.

Lawsuits are also to blame, and nobody is faster to sue than a parent who wants something for their child. When an insurance company does try to rein in costs by denying questionable treatment, they are sued and often lose, and all our premiums go up. Unless they live in state where the insurance company is protected from lawsuits, then they will start denying legitimate treatment as well, and sick people lose out.

DID YOU ACTUALLY SAY THAT PARENTS ARE THE ONE’S TO SUE WHEN THEY WANT SOMETHING FOR THEIR CHILD, and THE INSURANCE COMPANIES OFTEN LOOSE?!?!?! Do you actually live on this planet??? In every health insurance policy that I have held in my 40 years of being here, there are strict clauses about the fact that you cannot sue. You can appeal a payment or non-payment, but the processes are often so lengthy and difficult that people just give up. The insurance companies bank on this happening.

You then go on to say that insurance companies are denying legitimate treatment. REALLY? I have never heard of that happening. Maybe you can enlighten me with some facts on that issue.

You go on to reverse your position about who is draining the system, flip flopping your view by saying that “sick people are loosing out”. You are worse than a bloated politician on the campaign trail speaking out of your, you-know-what.

You know, it’s funny, but most people pay for fire insurance for their house and don’t complain because they never needed it. Unless they burn it for the money and can’t collect because that’s arson and illegal.

I live in New Orleans, if you think the insurance industry is fair and honorable you should come vist and talk to some of the people here.
Also, I’ve never met anyone who “cheerfully” has surgery, although I’ve known people who were either so overwhelmed by their diagnosis,or who put too much faith in their Drs and didn’t get second opinions.

That’s what insurance is supposed to be, to cover the unforseen, not the deliberate and intentional.

Do you really think that anyone deliberately and intentionally sets out to have a disabled child? That statement is naive at best and offensive at worst. I can’t think of one single woman who wanted to conceive a disabled child. I state again, that life is a crap shoot for everyone, that is why we pay taxes and pay for insurance. Yes, I had a child with downs syndrome, she is the healthiest person in our family. You could have a “healthy” fetus and deliver at 24 weeks and end up with a baby costing millions in insurance and tax payer dollars for all the treatments to save your child’s life. Are you really telling me that I am selfish and irresponsible because I wanted my child and would not abort her? Someone up thread said it was absurd to compare a live baby with an fetus and while I understand the rationale of that arguement I have to point out that if you really wanted a child and found out you were pregnant, that bonding starts right away. You can love a fetus just as much as you love a born baby. Being an atheist does not mean that you are cold and logical and think only of the well being of the state, at least not for me.

Oh, and I believe the military budget is about 22% of the of the total 2007 federal budget, social services getting roughly 3%, education I believe around 4%. Maybe it would be more cost effective to be railing against our government instead of judging the value of less than 1/2 million people with ds.

The states make a lot of help available, not just in programs for the disabled but in many aspects. If the parents are lucky, they have insurance, which pays for a lot of the often extremely high medical bills. If they don’t, Medicaid foots the bill. And who really pays for this? Everybody does – me, you, everybody – because it comes out of our tax dollars and our ever-increasing insurance premiums.

Medicare does NOT foot the bill for what the insurance does not pay. Medicare does not kick in until we are well within poverty limits and with out insurance.

” What REALLY bothers me is the money it takes away from other poor children who need medical care or other help. One infant with serious problems, covered by Medicaid, can easily use up a million dollars in their first year of life, money that could have helped one hell of a lot of other people. That’s physical exams, vaccinations, and treatment for maybe 5000 poor uninsured kids.”

And then you go on to say in your next post that the money for disabled children is in short supply:

:
“There are so many disabled children in the system that the money to help them is in short supply”

So which is it? Is it your perception that I am draining the system dry or that the system is draining me dry?

You go on to point out in an article in the New York Times that illegal immigrants are paying into social security and not recieving benifits. The story talks about a man who paid $2000 in taxes last year and will get no benefit. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!! Last year we paid $33000 in social security ALONE, and will never EVER see that money again. You my friend have no clue.

Your see-saw comments do not give you much merit in my book. What I see is someone trying to inflame the issues with accusations that have no backing. Make up your mind darlin. Pick a side and stay on it. And pray and hope you do not ever find yourself disabled, out of work, trying to get assistance to feed your family. It is not as easy as you think. We have been turned down for aid so many times that I have just stopped trying. We pay what we can and we go without medications and doctor visits when we cannot afford it. Which, from your posts would be fine with you to just let my daughter suffer and die. Then she would not be a drain on the system.

What kind of monster are you?