Posted by Hemant Mehta in Last week, I asked this question:
What should atheists scream out in bed?
Here are the Top 5 answers (with submitters)!
5|
“Oh, God (in whom I don’t believe)!”
4|
“…punctuated equilibrium!”
(Kate)
3|
“Suck it Jesus, this is my god now!”
(Vincent)
2|
“Jesus isn’t coming, but I am!”
(Craig)
1|
“Touch me with your noodley appendage!”
(Polly)
And I had to include this one from Kate:
Honorable Mention|
“Hemaaaaaaaaaaaant!!!!!!”
Congratulations to the winners! The top three will be receiving specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!
…
If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest.
What is the scariest Halloween costume an atheist could wear?
Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.
Good luck!
[tags]atheist, atheism, contest[/tags]
A BANANA!
Jerry Falwell come back as a zombie.
No costume at all.
A jar of peanut butter.
Jesus riding a dinosaur.
Ken Ham or Kent Hovind.
Fred Phelps. (I’ve actually seen this costume, though for acceptability at the party I attended, the guy changed his sign to read “God Hates You” as opposed to his normal slogan).
Depiction of the Heat Death of the Universe.
Considering what atheists believe, the answer would have to be, quoting Archibald MacLeish, “nothing, nothing nothing at all,”.
Having seen Hitchens in the near nude, it’s entirely appropriate.
Fred Phelps. He is just scary–no matter who dresses up as him.
But on Halloween you’re supposed to dress up like something you don’t believe in. Vampires. Werewolves.
Anyone know how to make a costume of Irreducible Complexity?
The pope. If you run into any violent holy roller types and fear for your safety tell them your Emperor Palpatine.
Jesus with a ball gag and a spiked dog collar being lead on a leash by a woman in a burka.
I’m not sure that it’s scary but I’m going as Zombie Jesus. Carry three nails so I can ask people to put me up for the night. Actually I’m going to two parties, one with a lady I don’t know so I’ll just go as regular jesus, don’t know if she ok with that much blasphemy. Hope she’s not too offended because there will be lots of blasphemy.
why do the ladies love jesus? (hold out arms like on the cross) because hes hung like this. Should be a good halloween
And Vovic, wow just wow. almost makes me want to add to my costume, I probably would if it wasn’t for the whole going with a lady I don’t really know, but I’ll keep that in mind for next year.
Ann Coulter. Although, I’m not sure I could squeeze myself into an Ann Coulter costume. Maybe four Ann Coulters side by side?
Pat Robertson
Be god and just don’t show up to the party.
(I’m really gonna try hard for a wristband this time)
But that is my usual weekend outfit.
Last year when I had a beard I was a nun, complete with a cross and a ruler. I would think a bearded nun would be pretty scary, but a girl at the party said I had less facial hair than some of the nuns in her catholic school.
Ted Haggart, with a Bible in one hand and a bag (bottle?) of meth in the other.
How about Chuck Norris.
http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/05/21/chuck-norris-sheds-more-light-on-the-evil-atheist-conspiracy/
Richard Dawkins mask with a little Jerry Falwell devil on one shoulder and Pat Robertson devil on the other.
Talk about being stuck between a cock and ‘tard place… sorry.
Depends who you’re trying to frighten, I guess: other atheists or Xians.
A Catholic priest.
An astronomer (or Carl Sagan)
Charlatan Heston and the 10 commandments
Scare everyone:
Madelaine Murray O’hare’s ghost.
evangelical fundie.
this not a scary costume at all at first glance, in fact one should try to look normal and inoffensive. then corner people one by one (preferably with a large group of fellow goddites) and proceed to beat the living shit out of them with your holy tome.
ps, for added effect, smile broadly and regularly assure them you love them whilst administering said beating.
A vestigial tail, gill slits and a t-shirt that reads “God isn’t finished with me yet.”
A militant atheist costume. Dress up like a terrorist in a ski mask with an RPG launcher all while wearing the “A” shirt from the out campaign.
Nietzsche with God’s corpse on display.
Of course.. Hemaaaaaaaaaaaant!!!!!!
Dinesh D’Souza, with a pile of his own books to sign.
Aaaaahhhhhhh!
Tammy Faye Baker….I actually did this costume a few years ago….VERY SCARY!
Mormon Missionary
Yo mama!
Actually, my Dad is an atheist, a card-carrying minister (wedding gigs are a side job for him) and did go out for Halloween as a hardcore southern Baptist fire-and-brimstone minister. He was *very* in-character for the party with claims about how all the sinners there were going to have to answer to JAYSUS.
Someone at the party who he didn’t know came up to him and told him that she had grown up in the south as a baptist. He apologized, thinking he had offended her, but she said it was fine and that she was better now…
…also that his act was “dead-on” and the scariest costume at the party. Given the choice, that’s probably what I would pick as just an all-out scary costume.
Hitler. (OR pretend to be Cartman acting like Hitler.) Go from door to door chanting/yelling in German: “Sieg Heil!!”
Bill O’Reilly. But the atheist has to act like Ted Haggard.
An atheist’s second worst nightmare,
A person with eyes that see and a brain that works.
Pretend to be President Pat Robertson celebrating his new law making homosexuality and atheism a capital crime!
Adam – stark naked without the well-placed leaf for cover.
It’ll be a dose of reality to uptight creationist parents.
The Rapture!
For guys: Dick Cheney.
For gals: Michelle Malkin
That’s if you’re trying to scare heathens.
If you wanna scare believers, a male-female couple could go as Jesus and Mary Magdalene in tarty clothing.
I’m torn between a costume of the irreducibly complex bacterial flagellum and one of the sort of big-beardy god drawn by Gary Larson in ‘The Far Side’.
The prophet Muhammad.
Non-Muslims would be in fear Muslims may see it and start rioting and killing people, Muslim reactions of course are based on ignorance and fear and the person wearing the costume should be in fear for his life.
Jesus in drag !
Wasn’t Jesus always in drag? Long curly hair, pretty blue eyes, robe = dress.
Actually depending on the Christian they might like it (myself included). More conservative ones probably would feel uncomfortable about it but the younger (and I guess more liberal) ones wouldn’t be upset by it. (personally I think I would like to do it myself if my husband looked more like the stereotypical Jesus).
I think I’m going to have to recycle a previous winner:
A rabbit in the Precambrian layer.
Door to door “athevalgelist”
Heather said:
PERFECT! This is hilarious from so many angles. Fortunately, I read it between sips of coffee.
God.
I’m going for the obvious, and saying “The Church Lady” from Saturday Night Live.
An ambiguous, unnamed, undetectable, but still there Intelligent Designer. (Just for fun, guys, don’t “officially” enter me in the contest.)
A “Creation Scientist”: walk round with messy hair and a white coat (complete with a leaking biro sticking out of the breast pocket) while carrying some rather sciencey looking machinery made from cereal packets and loo rolls. Walk up to random objects and probe them, meanwhile checking various badly painted dials on your sciencey machinery, before finally exclaiming “Goddidit!!” and moving on.
Failing that, a “panda-person”, or an opposible thumb.
A PRECAMBRIAN RABBIT!!!
AAAAHHH GRETA beat me by a few hours.
A stereotypical atheist as seen by a theist. I’ll wear S&M gear, horns and a forked tail. Dye my hands blood read and carry a try with a gelatin mold of a fetus.
Some guy: “What are you suppose to be?”
Me: “I’m an atheist, care for a slice of fetus?”
AAaaaaaaahhh you mean I got 4th place AND honorable mention but still no bracelet?!?!
Hmmm…true, peanut butter is the atheist’s worst nightmare. And bananas are equally as frightening. But what about…A PEANUT BUTTER AND BANANA SANDWICH!!!! nightmare x 2!!!!!!!
Lack of Existence
Not only is it freaky, but being able to actually make a costume out of it is doubly freaky.
Some other atheist fears one could exploit.
[...] week, I asked this question: What is the scariest Halloween costume an atheist could [...]
The devil wearing a shirt that says “I used to believe in a god, then i realized i was god”
if i were to try and choose a costume to scare athiests at halloween, i would have to go as -
richard dawkins wearing a t-shirt saying”sorry guys,ive been over the calculations again,and i think i’ve got it all wrong!”
Very late with the comment leebo but you win the prize!
i think it would be a thousand times more scary for a Christian to dress-up as fred phelps, as opposed to an atheist. Because deep down inside, you know (and they also know) that they kinda sort of agree with the guy.
*shudder* creeps me out.
a pregnant Nun.