Posted by Hemant Mehta in I’m almost done with Stephen Colbert’s hilarious new book I Am America (And So Can You!).
What does Stephen have to say about atheists?
Card-carrying members of BS [Big Secularism] have snaked their way into every branch of the federal government, except for the judicial and executive. Did you know that in the House of Representatives and the Senate, there are as many as one self-described atheist currently serving? Democratic Representative Pete Stark of California’s 13th district, to name just one. Just think of it — how are any pro-faith initiatives going to make it into law when Congress is held hostage by the anti-God caucus of Stark, his self and him?
Actually, Stark is a self-described Unitarian. But it’s true he doesn’t believe in a God.
What does Stephen say about Agnostics?
Atheists without balls.
Here he is talking about how America is a Christian nation and how Christianity and Judaism are not equal:
Think of “Judeo-Christian” like “Sears, Roebuck & Co.” — Judaism is Roebuck.
The margins contain a note reading: “The ‘& Co.’? Unitarians.”
By the way, if you’d like to convert, go to Stephen’s Religionizer! As he says, “if it ain’t Christianity, it’s just Path-to-Hell Lotto!”
I love this book 
[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]
Pardon me, but I just checked and I do have balls.
Size is a factor here too.
Darryl: So my wife is a wimp because she doesn’t have balls? Doesn’t that strike you as more than a little sexist? Should I report you to the Feminist Police?
Oooo. Ouch. I sat down and my balls broke the chair.
I just did it and it picked atheism for me. Converting is so much easier when you don’t have to change.
I got Jainism!
The messages are all wrong. They don’t match the religions. Last I checked there were no shiite or Sunni Jews. And the Bible is not a Jainist book, I’m pretty sure.
I listened to the audiobook version of this while running errands, riding the bus, etc. Hysterically funny, not something to listen to in public since everyone wonders “what the hell is wrong with that guy?”
Regardless, I loved how his religion chapter poked at just about everyone until he hit Islam and then promptly chickened out. Far too funny.
He was on Fresh Air last week with Terri Gross and the subject of his religious beliefs came up. Despite his frequent criticism of religion, he seems to most definitely be an active Catholic.
He talked about teaching CCD classes, telling his kids that god is love and telling them that hell is separation from god. Interesting that he seems to get the criticisms of religion so well but doesn’t apply them to his own faith, huh?
How do you know what his faith is other than what he states it is? It’s fairly difficult to get thrown out of the Catholic church, you can believe all kinds of things and if you’re not a priest or a Democratic candidate you can say pretty much whatever you want in most churches while you still get to call yourself a Catholic.
Steve Colbert is doing God’s work on his program and on his book tour. He can belong to any church he wants to as long as he’s doing things like his address to the White House Correspondent’s dinner.
That religionizer is just too funny. I keep getting Islam or Hindu several times in a row. What is with that?